SHe's All That
by Shanami
Summary: What happens when Urd decides to get Skuld some action with the Wild Horse set to the theme of a 90s high school romantic comedy? ...chaos
1. Prologue: The Bet

S/He's All That

Disclaimer: I own nothing involved in this, and no one worth their salt at writing or especially attempting to produce something commercially could possibly come up with a plot as poor as this.

Foreword: Feel free to skip this part if you don't like reading these things, but I have a few comments before we actually get to the story. This fic is written for the F4 challenge which has the following paraphrased prompt: "Ranma gets kidnapped as fiancé material, chaos ensues…" To me, this says a humor piece, though I'm sure you could make it dark or a rape fic, but that's not my cup of tea. I like humor, so that's what's going to happen. But, it seems like a big part of this challenge was to do something unique and I had a unique idea. Probably because no one else is stupid enough to try it, but oh well. I've never seen anyone attempt to set a Ranma crossover to the theme of a High School Romance Movie from the late 90s/early 2000s. Now, there are a few important considerations regarding that sort of movie, but we'll deal with that in the afterword.

However, I would like to clarify that I will be forcing some people out of character. But, for me, that's a given in fanfiction. If everyone was in character, then we'd be stuck in canon, and fanfiction is directly a departure of canon. This fic in particular will caricaturize some characters for the laughs because it is a humor fic. You have been warned. Furthermore, I suppose I should mention that my sense of humor is... unique, but I hope not so unique that no one likes it.

That said, I hope you have as much fun reading this as I did writing it. As my first completed work, I realize that it probably isn't quite up to the standards that a lot of people can produce, but I'm pretty happy with it. There may eventually be extensions, but I will not be touching this story for a while at least. Enjoy.

* * *

Prologue: The Bet

Toltiir, feline Elder god of Mischief and Chaos, gathered a group of gods and goddesses at Mimir's well to Bet on just how big a change a little pebble … wait a sec… scratch that. A Demoness and a Goddess walk into a bar. Well, actually, the Demoness was sitting at the bar nursing a warm sake and lamenting her most recent failure when the Goddess stumbled drunkenly into the bar…headfirst.

"Ouchie!" Urd, Goddess of the past and unofficial cupid of love groaned as she attempted to stop the world spinning long enough to make her way back to her feet.

"Urd," Mara, Demoness first class, unlimited hissed.

"Wha…who's there, oh hiya Mara," Urd slurred out. "Hey barkeep, sake."

"What are you DOING here Urd," Mara's eyes narrowed.

"Whoa, chill with the hostility girl, just for the night, drink?" Urd said.

"Fine, it's not like the day could possibly get any worse, even if YOU have to be here," Mara snatched up her new bottle of Sake, to find Urd blocking her with another bottle.

"What's eating you, and toast before drink?" Urd interrupted.

"Fine.. whatever. To Hild-sama," Mara inclined her bottle and took a long pull. "And you seriously cannot be so drunk that you don't know what the problem is Urd."

"I am NOT drinking to Hild, no way in Niflheim," Urd grumbled.

"What's wrong, don't want to be a momma's girl Urd-chan," Mara sang.

"That woman is NOT my mother," Urd screamed. "I've got it, to sex, love and all that good stuff."

"Whatever," Mara clinked her sake bottle to Urd's and the both took a drink.

"Ah man, it's been too long since we've done this Mara, where'd it all go wrong?" Urd said wistfully.

"Wow, you really must be smashed," Mara quipped, though she couldn't help that her mouth quirked a little smile before she ruthlessly squashed it. Hanging around Urd was… nice in a way, it reminded Mara of a time when she had some very good friends.

"Oh come on Mara-chan," Urd teased, "I'm not that bad, we were best friends, I can't help but wonder what went wrong."

"Oh please, it's completely obvious you heaven blasted imbecile," Mara said.

"Fine, aside from the obvious then?"

"Um, no reason," Mara sweatdropped, this she really hadn't been expecting. All she wanted was a night to drown her sorrows after the magic lamp incident, was that really too much to ask? Naturally, one of the thrice blessed Norns had to show up to ruin a perfectly horrendous evening of pity, why, for the love of chaos, couldn't anything go right for once?

* * *

-An hour and a completely unreasonable number of empty sake bottles later-

Urd and Mara were stumbling back towards the temple, having been kicked out of the bar for 'disorderly behavior' the details of which are too ghastly to print. Suffice to say, none of the men in the bar would ever look at sheep, pool cues, or edamame the same way ever again. "Look girl, all I'm shaaying is that the Shquirt is waaay too uptight," Urd said.

"Damn right, the kid acts like she's got a bug shoved up her *^!^," Mara replied as she stumbled sideways into a parked car. "*&^# Who the heaven put a car there?" Mara launched a bolt of black lightning that toasted the paint off the front half of the car.

"Tee hee, nice aim," Urd slurred out. "I mean, the Shquirt can't even handle Bell and Keiichi kissing, we have to help her shomehow. She'sh a total prude, it can't be good for her. And she keepsh ruining all my plans to get Bell shome."

"URD, I've got it!" Mara declared and flashed a victory sign with her hand. "We've gotta get the kid laid!"

"Hohohohoho, brilliant. Don't worry Shquirt, Urd, the Cupid of Looooove is on the case. We'll have you a grade A hunk o'beefcake before you can blink baby sishter!" Urd posed and thrust her chest out suggestively, legs slightly parted, arms cocked to the side with a wink.

"Ohh really, big words from shomeone who can't even get Belldandy and her pretty boy fiancé in the shack," Mara taunted.

"Oh ya? I bet you I can find Shkuld someone she'll just love!" Urd declared.

"Sure you will, put up or shut up, Urdie."

"Fine, terms?" Urd asked, momentarily serious. Well, as serious as Urd on 15 bottles of sake can ever be, which is surprisingly enough is more serious than Urd on zero bottles of sake can usually manage.

"What, really? Okay, you have until the end of the semester to get Skuld to fall in love with someone of your choice," Mara said.

"Alright, wager?" Urd said.

"Loser becomes the slave of the winner for a week," Mara said with a vicious smirk.

"Naw, that's no fun. I've got it, loser has to attend Keiichi's graduation at the end of the semester naked and jump on stage when it's his turn to get his diploma."

Mara looked at Urd for a moment and said one word, "Deal."


	2. Ch 1: What's a Little Kidnapping

S/He's All That

Disclaimer: It's in the prologue, and it hasn't changed.

Chapter 1: What's a Little Kidnapping Among Family?

"Ungh," Urd groaned and cracked her eyes opened, turning her retinas to jelly and increasing the pounding in her head from a simple tribal dance beat to the percussion section from the 1812 Overture. "What the hell did I do last night?" she squinted her eyes shut and massaged her temples.

"Shush, tryin to schleep here," Mara slurred out.

"MARA?!" Urd screeched.

"Gah, my head," Mara groaned. "Keep it down Urdie, wait, URD?! Where the heaven am I, what happened last night?"

After a couple minutes of pained grunts, Urd managed to get enough concentration to cast a spell to deal with hangovers and summon some coffee and they managed to piece together exactly what had happened last night.

For her part, Mara had a better time hanging out with a *friend* than she could remember. Sure, Urd was annoying, and the Norns had been a huge pain in the backside, but they had been best friends, and this was a step in the right direction. Hell, the fact that no one seemed to have a problem with her crashing at the temple overnight was a very good sign.

Urd, for her part, was smirking as she remember the bet they had made. It would be so much fun to get the Squirt some action, and by Father, did she need it. Urd turned to Mara and said, "Well, I had a surprisingly good time last night girl, we need to do that again, preferably sometime this millennia."

"Yeah, I'll admit, present company excluded, I had a great night," Mara smirked back, but her eyes conveyed that she was clearly joking. "Besides I can't wait to see YOU prancing around nude at Keiichi's graduation."

"You'll be eating those words!" Urd took the same provocative pose she took the previous night. "After all, no one can resist the Cupid of Loooove!"

"Sure, whatever. I've gotta get out of here, all these good vibes are doing hell on my hangover," Mara said, before teleporting away in a swirl of sulfur and brimstone.

After a quick bath to clear her head, Urd headed downstairs to see what the other temple residents were up to that morning. Her search came up empty as she checked Skuld's room/lab, the garage and the grounds. Eventually, Urd found both her sisters and Keiichi as they were preparing to sit down for breakfast.

"Oh, good morning sister," Belldandy said, "is Mara not joining us for breakfast?"

"WHAT?!" Skuld screamed, causing Urd to wince, "Mara, where is she? She's evil."

"Now Skuld, that's not very nice," Belldandy chastised, "after all, Mara is a guest here. Unless, did she leave already sister?"

"Yup, she said the holy vibes were really getting to her. She might be stopping by a bit more though," Urd said.

"But Urrrrd, she's a meanie," Skuld whined and Keiichi nodded.

"Now, that isn't very nice little sister," Bell said. "It's about time that Urd and Mara try to make up."

"Oh, we're doing more than that," Urd smirked.

"What was that?" Bell asked.

"Oh, nothing important, Ohohohoho," Urd cackled. Everyone proceeded to ignore her as they turned to their meals.

* * *

Urd logged onto her Yggdrassil uplink terminal to search for Skuld's new beau. Normally, she would have just gone into the office to access the system directly, but she was still on temporary leave… err, banned from heaven.

"Ohohoho, the Cupid of Looove is on the case, don't worry little sister, I'll find you the perfect boyfriend," Urd cackled as she typed in her log on info to the Yggdrassil equivalent of the white pages. 'Hmm,' she thought, 'what's her type, come to think of it, I don't actually know. Better ask Bell.'

"Hey Bell," Urd yelled, "c'mere a minute little sister."

"Yes sister, what can I do for you?" Belldandy asked.

"So, I was thinking, Keiichi is kinda cute, isn't he?" Urd said in a teasing voice.

Belldandy, sporting a nuclear blush responded, "Urd, did you really call me up here to make fun of me like that?"

"Well, I was just thinking, Skuld is really against the two of you getting together, you don't think she wants him for herself, do you?" Urd asked.

"Um, I really don't think Skuld thinks of him that way big sister." Bell's blush had yet to recede.

"Oh really, why, he's cute, you'd think she'd be interested. Unless, you don't think our dear little sister bats for the other team?"

"Oh my, I don't believe so," Bell said.

"Well, do you happen to know if there's any boy that she's ever shown any interest for, except as a practice target for her hammer?" Urd asked, earnestly this time.

"No, not really, she hasn't exactly shown interest in anyone though big sister."

"Well, thanks Bell." Urd said as her sister left the room. She thought, 'damn, I have no ideas. Skuld pretty much just hates romance on principle and I don't think she's ever showed any interest in a boy. Wait a tic, could the little Squirt really bat for the other team? I was just joking with Bell but it would explain quite a bit. Better cover my bases and get a hunk and a hottie.'

Urd spent the next two hours surfing through the Yggdrassil file servers looking for good candidates for Skuld.

'Hmm, I need some basic criteria to narrow this down a bit. First off, physical attractiveness is an absolute must. I'm not setting my baby sis up with anything less than a total dish. I suppose I need to cover all my bases. Bell-chan is pretty much straight as an arrow and likes the cute but wimpy type, but I've still no idea on Skuld, she's almost… asexual. Time to change that. Hmm, second criteria, how about a long lifespan. Bell may be in love with a mortal, and I've enjoyed my flings with them from time to time, but I don't like the idea of Skuld's beau dying off on her. That ought narrow the list down enough for starters, let's see, advanced search…' Urd thought.

-AN: This is not a multi-cross, these are just cameos-

A couple minutes later, and Urd had a couple leading candidates. 'Alright, first up on the list, Tenchi M., his pros are a long lifespan, he's a generally nice guy and while he's not ripped, he's still tasty, cons, he's Jurian, so I'd need to get Tsunami involved, and she's already got a crush on him. Plus, Skuld doesn't strike me as the type to share and there's that whole second wife thing. Second up, Ryoko H., she's an absolute spitfire and knows exactly how to use her sex appeal. She'd be a ton of fun in the bedroom. Downfall, she's totally hung up on Tenchi, and that might be hard to break. Hmm, on second thought, neither of those seem quite right.'

'Next, Xellos the Priest. Cute, secretive and… likes chaos waaaay too much. There's no way Skuld would go for a Mazoku, she gets so hung up on even normal demons. Maybe I can set Mara up with this guy though. Seems like he'd be her type.'

'Ooo, who's this, oh wow, she's cute. Ami M., smartest high school girl in Japan and the Princess of Mercury to boot. Skuld would be able to get along with her great, they both love technology. Incredibly shy though. I'll have to keep her in mind, might look her up myself after this is all over.'

'Hmm, wait, this is new. By Father, what a looker, he's a total dish. What's this, changes into a girl with cold water; who is dumb enough to go to Jusenkyo these days? Drool, she's, she's a knockout. Recently immortal, killed Saffron. Damn, kid is kicking around some serious power. Perfect, absolutely perfect, no matter what, Skuld can't complain; he's a grade A hunk and damn, she almost makes me jealous. A MARRIAGE CONTRACT WITH FATHER?! Ranma, I'm coming for you, Ohohohoho!'

* * *

Urd snuck carefully out of the house later that night after she was sure everyone else in the house was asleep. She stifled a grimace at what she was about to do. "Hey mom, I know you're around here somewhere," she yelled out over the temple grounds.

Chibi-Hild poked her head out from behind a bush before resuming her full size and seizing Urd in a tight embrace with her head held firmly between Hild's breasts. "Oh, I'm so glad you wanted to see your mother Urd-chan, what can mommy do for her little Urd?"

"Gah, can't breathe," Urd gasped out.

"Sorry," Hild said, though she clearly wasn't, and released Urd.

"Well, mother," Urd managed to hide a shudder of revulsion at acknowledging her relationship to the Grand Demoness, "I have a project you might find very interesting, and was hoping you might be willing to help me with it."

Hild merely quirked an eyebrow and motioned for Urd to continue.

"I'm, umm, that is… I'm trying to get Skuld laid," Urd rubbed the back of her neck self-consciously.

"A noble cause I'm sure," Hild said. "While I think it's a great idea, why do you need my help with something like that?"

"I was kinda thinking you might be willing to help me 'acquire' her potential mate and convince him to stick around?" Urd said.

"So let me get this straight Urd-chan," Urd winced, "you want my help in kidnapping a potential lover for your prudish little sister and then you want me to help you intimidate him into staying?"

"Umm, yes," Urd squeaked out.

"Oh this is so exciting honey, I've been looking forward to a little mother-daughter bonding for a couple millennia, and I can't think of anything better than kidnapping some unsuspecting slouch and forcing him to our will. Oh Urd-chan, you make your mother so happy," Hild positively gushed before seizing Urd in another glomp. "And corrupting your pure little sister too, oh honey."

'Right, I knew this was a bad idea, oh well, it'll still probably be fun,' Urd thought. 'Now if only I could get out from mom's breasts, you'd think she could squish my face somewhere else for a change.'

"So daughter what's his name?" Hild asked as she powered up for a teleport.

"Ranma Saotome," Urd replied.

Hild burst out in uncontrollable laughter. "Bwahahahaha, why in the name of all that is unholy do you want to set your sister up with him?"

"Umm, well, I kinda thought that, well, the Squirt has never exactly expressed any interest in boys per say, and I thought I'd cover all my bases." Hild fell to the ground and started crying she was laughing so hard. It took her a couple minutes to recover before she turned to her daughter and said, "Alright honey, let's do this."

* * *

There are many pleasant ways people wake. Some, like Kasumi Tendo rise with the sun and far more cheer than any person has any right to. Others, like her mercenary sister require a blaring alarm and copious amounts of java before they become passably human. Ranma Saotome, on the other hand, usually woke to the pleasant sensation flying out of a second story window or being drenched in freezing water. On other days, Ranma was treated to such delights as being smashed through the floorboards, tied to wooden frames and drugged, or strapped into bondage equipment in a wedding dress. It should be noted that Ranma has no conception that waking up can be pleasant.

Ranma drifted slowly towards consciousness, grateful that the tomboy and his baka-panda father had allowed him to sleep in for once. He snuggled a bit deeper into the soft sheets on his extremely comfortable bed. 'BED?!' Ranma's consciousness blared into full alert mode, 'Ack, I don't have a bed, where the heck am I?' He carefully stretched out his senses and cracked his eyes open. 'Hmm, unfamiliar ceiling, can't be at the dojo, where the hell am I?'

'Holy hell,' Ranma's awareness screamed, 'someone's kicking around with at least… damn, makes Saffron look like a baby. WHAT, there's another… TWO, THREE MORE?' Ranma sat up and slowly took in his surroundings. 'Great, not at the dojo, surrounded by powerhouses, wonder who pops sold me out to this time. Whoever it is sure doesn't play around, I'm sure I went to sleep in my room last night. Crap, one of them's coming this way. Play it cool, Ranma, this thing could take you out by sneezing. Foot stays on floor, not in mouth. Foot stays on floor, not in mouth.' He repeated mentally as a mantra and prepared to face his seriously intimidating captor…

and facefaulted when Chibi-Hild poked her cute little head into the room.

"Oh good, you're awa- what are you doing on the floor, that looks kinda painful." Chibi-Hild scratched the back of her head in confusion.

*Groan* 'Don't comment on her looks, don't comment on her looks, don't comment on her' Ranma's brain desperately tried to get in contact with Ranma's voice.

"Who the hell are you little girl, and why am I here?"

"LITTLE GIRL, I'll show you little," Hild fumed.

'Crap, crap, crap, gonna die, say something,' Ranma furiously thought.

Chibi-Hild stalked forward, backing Ranma into a corner and growing with each step until she reached her full, voluptuous form. "I'll show you just how little I am big boy," Hild whispered throatily.

"Eeeep!" Ranma became one with the ceiling when Hild goosed him.

"Bwahahaha, oh I haven't had this much fun in eons. You're so much fun to tease Ranma. Now, get down here, we have *business* to discuss," Hild said and took a seat on the bed.

"Al-alright, whaddya want with me?"

"Aw, come now Ranma, is that all you can think of at a time like this?" Hild stretched languidly on the bed, showing off her… assets and choice in clothing, or lack thereof.

"Yes."

"Oh, you're no fun," Hild pouted. "Alright, well, I am the Daimakaichō Hild and"

"Demon QUEEN?!" Ranma burst out. "Gah, what'd pops sell me for this time?"

"Hmm, now that you mention it, your name does sound familiar, maybe I should look into outstanding contracts," Hild mused. "But no, you aren't here because of your father, you're part of a… project. Yes, a project, and I'm afraid I'll have to insist you stay here until it is finished."

Gulp. "Wha-what exactly do you mean by project, umm, Hild-sama." Ranma frantically thought, 'what the hell does she want with me, don't piss her off, and for the love of the Kami, this better not be about those demons I killed last week.'

"Oh, you'll have to talk to my daughter about that, she's downstairs. Though, I really must insist that you stay until this project is done, I really must insist. Oh, and it would really be better if no one knew about this. Now, I must go, paperwork, you understand." Hild popped away in a swirl of Hellfire.

'Great… just great, first Saffron, now the bleeding Queen of the Demons. What Kami did I piss off to deserve this.' Downstairs, Urd sneezed.

His stomach made a vaguely angry noise. 'Ah, oh well, maybe there's something to eat around here.'

Let it never be said that a Saotome is ruled by anything other than his stomach.

* * *

"Hey Bell," Urd called out as she entered the kitchen, "we're gonna have a guest for a little while, that okay little sis?"

"Oh, of course. It's no trouble at all, I'll put out an additional setting."

"Thanks Bell, but I've got it," Urd said. 'Alright Ranma, I'm sure you'll hit it off with my sister just fine, but I think a little *insurance*wouldn't hurt at all.' She quickly applied the contents of a vial to the bowl, cup and chopsticks as she set them out. 'Good thing I got that hair from Skuld last night. Ohohohoho I am such a genius.'

It should be noted that while the Amazons can claim over 3,000 years of history in making and using various love potions, Urd has FAR more experience with them, and hers are far more potent. But more importantly, the Amazons can currently claim nearly two years history using love potions on Ranma, and Urd has NONE at all. This just might be important later.

At any rate, over the course of the next few minutes Belldandy put the finishing touches on breakfast, Keiichi and Skuld made their way in from the garage - Keiichi was now the proud owner of the first fission powered motorcycle in Nekomi – and Megumi drove up from her apartment.

Skuld sat at her usual place while playing with a mass of circuitry that she was attempting to stuff into something that looked frighteningly similar to a Peebo. 'Uh-oh, I never should have given little sis that Gold Digger manga,' Urd thought desperately. Megumi was chatting absently to Bell about her classes while Keiichi started sweating bullets.

"Um, Bell, why is there another place setting out, we don't have any more goddesses staying again are we?" he nervously asked, memories of the recently departed rose goddess still unpleasantly fresh.

"Hehe, not a goddess Kei-chan," Urd said. "Ah, it's a surprise."

"Phew," he exhaled in relief, "who is it then?"

Urd just smirked.

Naturally, Ranma chose that moment to make his entrance.

"Hmm, something smells great, huh, buncha goddesses, that don't make sense," he mumbled.

"Huh, WHO are you?" Megumi stared at the way his muscles moved beneath his shirt. 'Wow, major hunk alert.'

"Ranma Saotome, sorry about this," he scratched the base of his neck sheepishly.

"Sorry, what the heck are you sorry for?"

"Trouble seems to find me, figure I might as well get it out of the way early. Anyway, which one of you is the crazy demon chick's kid, she said they'd know why I'm here?" Ranma said, then continued under his breath, "though Akane's usually the one to get kidnapped, not me." His stomach made an angry protest and everyone sweatdropped. "Eheh, d'ya mind if I join you for breakfast?"

"Err, right, I'll fill you in while we eat, you must be hungry," Urd said.

"Crazy demon chick? You don't think, Mara… or maybe *gulp* Hild sent him here, do you Bell?" Skuld whispered urgently.

"Urd knew he was coming, I'm sure there's nothing to worry about little sister."

Everyone was stunned at the casual gluttony with which Ranma destroyed his food. He burped softly and, shocking them out of their stupor, said, "That was great, maybe even better than Kasumi's. Thanks."

"Oh, I'm glad you enjoyed it," Bell commented.

"Well, I suppose you're curious as to what you're doing here," Urd began.

"Everyone else too," Keiichi quipped.

"Right," Urd said. She got a wicked grin on her face. "Skuld, say hi to your fiancé Ranma."

"What the hell are you playing at old mummy?" Skuld yelled. Urd's hair was blown back by the outburst.

Ranma hung his head and said, "Great, another one. What'd the stupid panda sell me for this time?"

"ANOTHER ONE?" Skuld yelled. "Great, he's some sort of freaking playboy or something?"

"What did you call me?" Ranma yelled back.

"Whoa, chill out guys," Urd interrupted. Ranma and Skuld starred daggers at her. "Ta-da." She produced a piece of paper detailing an engagement agreement between the firstborn son of one Genma Saotome and a daughter of the Almighty for three fresh pairs of briefs and a new training gi.

"Heh, first time I've been sold for clothes before, more practical than usual for the ol' man," Ranma quipped.

"How the HELL can you be so CALM about all of this," Skuld fumed.

"Ehh, it's not like this is exactly new for me y'know," Ranma sighed. "This is, makes you, oh, number 10 or 11 I think. More legit than most, least you gotta piece of paper for it."

Skuld was still turning interesting colors at the thought of her FATHER arranging a marriage for her, but everyone else was pretty calm. Keiichi was just glad that the insanity was directed at someone ELSE for once. Urd was laughing her butt off and waiting for the potion to kick in. Bell was… well, Bell. Megumi honestly didn't know what to think, and as for Ranma… well, Ranma was finally back in familiar territory. Akane was the person who was supposed to get kidnapped. Waking up in a strange bed and being confronted by a being that could vaporize him with an absent thought was a bit unnerving, and eating breakfast with three others like that hadn't exactly let him get comfortable. A new fiancée? That happened at least every other week, and while annoying (especially since this one seemed far more legitimate than even the Tendo agreement, Ranma DID NOT want to piss off Kami-sama by scorning his daughter. If he had known the meaning of the word scorn that is), it was at least close enough to his normal life that he was in familiar territory.

Heck, Ranma finally let out the breath he had been holding, waiting for the other shoe to drop. Usually that meant marriage or death, and given the sorts of beings he'd been surrounded by, marriage was a much more comfortable proposition. "Heh, this ain't so bad, least no one wants to kill me this time," he said. Unfortunately, Ranma forgot a key fact of the universe: Murphy AND Fate really hate him, and his comment gave them all the license they needed to stir the pot a little.

Megumi sputtered, hearing Ranma take this all so casually was just too much for her. Unfortunately, this caused her to spit out a substantial portion of her soda, which took a direct path towards the only Jusenkyo curse individual in the vicinity. Cue instant Ranma-chan.

Keiichi fainted, Megumi stared, Bell stared, Skuld stared and got a weird twitch in her eye. Urd continued laughing her butt off and said, "Hey Squirt, isn't this great, it's like getting two for the price of one."

"As if I'd want to be with someone like… like that," Skuld said indignantly.

"What the hell does that mean, Tomboy?" Ranma yelled back.

"TOMBOY! Ranma-no-baka!" Skuld yelled and smashed Ranma with her hammer, talk about déjà vu. "Sniff, at least I know what sex I am." She walked off.

"Oh dear, I suppose Skuld must have been a little upset, I'll go talk to her," Bell said.

"Whatever," Ranma groaned, "I'm gonna go get cleaned up. Where's the furo?" Urd pointed him to it.

* * *

"Little sister, can we talk?" Bell said.

"Fine," Skuld fumed and continued to pace furiously around her room.

"I understand that you're upset by this, arrangement," Bell began. Skuld muttered, "talk about understatement."

"But I think you were a bit harsh to Ranma. He didn't ask for this either," Bell finished.

"But, but he's a jerk big sis, he called me a TOMBOY," Skuld yelled.

"Well, you did insult him first. How would you feel if you were forced to change into a boy against your will?"

"I, I screwed up, huh?" Skuld deflated, "I was just so, upset that Urd sprung that on us, and he was the easiest target. I guess I need to apologize, huh?"

"I'm glad you think so sister, remember, he didn't ask for any of this either," Bell said.

"Alright, I'll do it after I cool off a bit, I think a nice hot bath would do the trick," Skuld said as she headed off for the furo.

Belldandy returned to the dining room and went up to Urd. "I managed to calm Skuld down. She's going to take a bath and then apologize to Ranma." Urd fell to the ground laughing, "Ohohohohoho."

"I fail to see how springing this on them was very funny Urd, and it sounds like Ranma was brought here against his will."

"But Bell, the Squirt needs to lighten up and get laid, so do you for that matter (Belldandy blushed). Anyway, that's not what I thought was funny, well that's funny too. Bell… Ranma's in the bath, ohohohoho."

"Oh my."

* * *

Skuld was generally an observant young goddess. If she wasn't she would have never made it as a first rate debugger. Fortunately, Skuld also was generally a pretty happy goddess. Sure, she got pissed at Urd some of… most of the time, but that was more of a playful upset than anything else. Today, well, today had sucked, a lot, and it wasn't even 9 am yet. And Skuld wanted nothing more than a nice, long soak in the furo to soothe her nerves. So, she wasn't really paying all that much attention to the world around her as she headed to the furo.

Skuld casually willed her clothing away and grabbed a bucket of bathing tools and a towel before opening the door and absently stepping into the washroom. She finally looked up and took notice of her surroundings and she stared.

Ranma sighed as he poured a bucket of cold water over himself and felt the familiar change wash over her. She worked the shampoo up into a good lather in her hair and dumped another bucket of water over herself to rinse. She then started to wash her body when she heard the sound of the door opening behind her. Ranma looked over her shoulder, a frightened look flashed across her face. 'Great,' she thought, 'I know I put the sign out, guess I'll take my punishment and get it over wi…'

Ranma's mind went completely blank as she stared at the vision of loveliness in front of, well, technically behind her. She looked like the most beautiful vision of a goddess Ranma could have ever conceived. Seemingly on autopilot, Ranma rose from the stool and slowly turned to fully take in the beauty assaulting her.

Skuld was completely frozen. "Oh… wow, she's a natural redhead alright. And, damn, she's stacked. I'd kill for a figure like that. People must be all over … her?' Skuld thought in something of a daze.

Most people will admit that Ranma has a will of iron when it comes to female attention. Shampoo on occasion wondered if he was either gay or celibate. Basically, Ranma normally has such total control over HIS physiology and can keep himself from reacting to female attention with little more than embarrassment even in a drug induced coma after having been given three concussions while surrounded by the Swedish bikini team.

What most people don't realize is that while Ranma is VERY familiar with the attention of females while he is a male, and he can completely suppress his natural reactions to female flesh due to his familiarity with it, SHE can't. Female arousal, while not completely foreign to the Saotome heiress, was something she was not really so capable of dealing with and it normally terrified her. Fortunately for her, most of the attention from the fiancées was focused on HIM, as none of them held even a passing interest in seducing Ranma-chan.

Ranma also can shrug off the effects of nearly every love and lust potion known to man with little effort thanks in part to near constant exposure (damn Amazons and Kodachi) and insane metabolism (damn Akane's cooking and Kodachi). Urd however, is light years ahead of any group of mortals at manipulating divine, and human for that matter, attraction, and the potion she dosed Ranma with earlier in the day would have put Dionysus himself (bloody wine gods, though that orgy last century was to die for) into heat for the better part of a week.

At the sight in front of her, Ranma felt her nipples tighten and a feeling of wetness and heat radiate from a place she'd rather deny the mere existence of and it felt good, so good. At the back of her fog filled mind, Ranma was raging to deny and suppress the feelings, but really, she just couldn't care less. She knew exactly what she wanted.

"Skuld-CHAN!" Ranma shouted and glomped her, hard. It was such a glomp, Shampoo herself would have been jealous. Ranma's attributes pressed tightly into Skuld's own, further frying Skuld's brain as two hard pinpoints assaulted her. "Wash my back?" Ranma said with a lecherous smirk as she rubbed herself tightly against the frozen goddess and cupped her rear.

"EEEP!" Skuld bolted.

Ranma pouted for a moment as she felt the loss of the nice warmth she had experienced. "Skuld-chan…" she murmured, then brightened and ran out of the room. Clearly, the love of her life was just playing hard to get and if she wanted the thrill of the chase, who was Ranma to deny Skuld anything?

It should be noted that rational thought, so rare a commodity in the Ranma-verse, had completely fled the ward.

Skuld ran down the stairs and proceeded to jump behind Belldandy while Urd fell to the ground, laughing her shapely posterior off.

"Help me big sister, you have to save me from her," Skuld whined while Bell just looked on in shock.

"Um, Skuld, why are you," Bell started to say when Ranma-chan sauntered into the room wearing nothing more than a few suds.

"Oh Skuld-chaaaaan," Ranma sang out, her lips lightly pouted as she slowly stalked her quivering prey. "Come back to the bath with me, pleeease. There's something I want to show you," she purred out in a surprisingly husky tone.

*GLOOMP*

"Eeeeeee, help, save me Bell, getter off, getter off!" Skuld started to run around the yard, Ranma in close pursuit and occasionally glomping Skuld or knocking her down to straddle her until she cold squirm free again.

"Um, shouldn't we do something about this big sister?" Bell asked.

"Only one thing to do Bell."

"What's that?"

"Popcorn, drink?" Urd asked as she pulled out a bag from subspace and a bottle of sake. "Cheers," she said, as the slightly frustrated Bell took a quick swig. "Wonder if the Squirt forgot that she can summon herself some clothes. Ohohohohoho."

"EEEEP! Ranma-no-baka!"

*SMASH*

* * *

AN: Well, this seemed like a good stopping point, due to time constraints when I was initially writing it. I've since gone back through and edited this chapter for errors. At this point, I was aiming at the sketch comedy aspects that some of the High School Romance Movies like to incorporate, without doing anything too drastic. I hope you all enjoyed the first chapter because I had fun writing it.


	3. Ch 2: Carmen Sandiego

S/He's All That

Chapter 2: Where in the World is Ranma Saotome?

Disclaimer: See Prologue, I still own nothing involved in this.

"Speech" 'thought' [panda signs and other nonverbal communication]

*NOTE: This starts the same time Ranma woke up in the previous chapter*

-Tendo Dojo and Household, Nerima Ward, Tokyo, Japan-

"RANMA!!!!! WHERE THE HECK IS THAT PERVERT?" Akane stomped downstairs to the dining room, growling.

Why was she so mad? Well, the day started like any other. And no, she's not normally quite that pissed or loud. Well, she's loud and pissed normally, but this was a bit extreme. Even for Akane.

Akane woke bright and early with the dawn. 'Hmm,' she thought, 'no sound of the panda or pervert fighting, must still be asleep.' She got a sinister grin on her face and padded to the furo to grab a bucket of freezing cold water before creeping back up the stairs. She employed all her considerable skills at stealth to avoid waking her target. In other words, Kasumi woke to what could be mistaken as the sound of an elephant tramping up the stairs.

Akane threw open the guestroom door and threw the bucket towards Ranma's futon. "Morning pervert!" she chirped cheerfully, waiting to hear the lovely sound of Ranma-chan screeching. Ah, the simple pleasures in life! Tormenting and pounding her fiancé, that's what Akane lived for. And no, in spite of all evidence to the contrary, Akane is not a mazoku, she's just that sick and twisted… erm a sweet little girl who has lived in Nerima for far too long.

*Sound of crickets chirping, or cicadas, or some other soothing and vaguely insectoid noise*

"Ranma?" A look of concern briefly flashed across Akane's face before it was ruthless squashed. 'Probably off being a pervert with Shampoo, grr, when will he realize that he's MINE.'

"RANMA!!!!!! WHERE THE HECK IS THAT PERVERT?" Akane stomped downstairs to the dining room, growling. Her hand reflexively clenching and unclenching and mallet flickering into and out of reality as she headed out to the dojo to relieve some stress by breaking bricks. As Urd might say, "Girl's really really gotta get laid, all that pent up stress can't be good for her. Ohohohoho."

Needless to say, Akane's shout woke most of the ward, much less the members of the house. As Akane had her daily cinderblock genocide session, Kasumi prepared the morning meal, a panda looked around for his sparring partner, and a zombified Nabiki trudged downstairs in search of blessed java to kickstart her day.

Eventually, the Tendo family and Genma managed to gather for breakfast.

*BOOOM* The whole house shook as a portion of the wall blew inwards to reveal a rather attractive young woman with vibrant purple hair wearing a Chinese style pantsuit. "Where airen?" Shampoo asked after looking around the room.

"PROBABLY OFF WITH HIS HUSSIES, OR DID YOU FORGET WHERE YOU PUT HIM, HMPH," Akane shouted. She was quite literally frothing. It should be noted that, like most people in Nerima, Akane has nearly no connection with something most people are intimately aware of: Reality.

"Who you call hussy violent girl?" Shampoo brandished her bonbori threateningly.

"Hmm, I wonder," Akane was steaming.

"Oh my, Ranma-kun is missing?" Kasumi interrupted calmly, momentarily defusing the impending violence.

"Grrr, who cares where the pervert is anyway?" Akane grumbled. 'I hope he's okay,' she thought before ruthlessly crushing it behind a wall of anger, 'if he's off doing anything perverted, grrr, I'll smash him senseless.'

"Oh Tendo, what did I do to deserve such a dishonorable son?" Genma lamented.

"Saotome old friend, we must find the boy and bring him back to marry my daughter!" Soun wailed, bursting into his usual waterworks.

"Indeed Tenrworlf, Gwrolf growlf gruolf," Genma as his transformation was triggered by the tears. This roughly translated to: "Hurry Tendo, we'll get the boy back. It'll be Genma and Soun's Operation Hitch the Kids while they're unconscious or drugged so hard that they can't even see straight." Fortunately, for the relative sanities of everyone involved, no one else spoke panda.

Genma dragged Soun and they ran off to track down Ranma. Akane stomped off towards the Ucchan to begin her own search. Shampoo opened a new door in the wall and hopped on her bike to go alert her grandmother to Ranma's absence. Nabiki just looked to Kasumi and said, "Think he finally had enough and decided to escape this nut house?"

Kasumi just smiled that smile of hers and said, "We'll see little sister, I assume you are planning on finding him yourself?"

"Naturally. I can't let jock-boy outsmart me, can I? It'd be bad for my reputation." Nabiki smirked and went off to the phone to call a few of her contacts.

'Oh my, I hope you're having fun little brother, wherever you are,' she thought as she cleared the breakfast table. 'For as long as you manage to escape them that is.'

A glowing Akane stalked through the doors of the Ucchan.

"Oh, hi Akane, you and Ranchan stopping by for lunch?" Ukyo asked as she noticed the newcomer while she tended to the pair of okonomiyaki she was currently cooking.

"Ah, no, he's not here either?" Akane deflated.

"Huh, Ranchan's not been here since last week, you know that," Ukyo replied. "You guys usually only stop by on weekends."

"Great.. just great, where is the baka?" Akane sighed.

"Whoa, Ranchan's missing? We need to find him sugar, where'd you check?"

"He's not at home, he's not here, he's not with the Amazons, you don't think… Kuno Mansion, naw, even he's not a big enough pervert to go hang around Kodachi," Akane said.

"Kuno could have tried to kidnap him though," Ukyo replied, sheathing her battle spatula and grabbing her bandoleer. "Konatsu, lock the place up and grab your gear. I'm going to check the Kunos, you check the school then meet me at the train station. Akane, I'm going to find Ranchan, he might need help, you coming?"

"Like I'd let YOU save him."

"What's that supposed to mean sugar?"

"Just.. oh, never mind, let's go."

* * *

Meanwhile, Hild and Mara were camping out on a rooftop across from the Temple in Nekomi, watching the action.

"RANMA-NO-BAKA!"

*SMASH*

"Oooohhh, Skuld-chaaaaan, I love you, gimme a hug sweetie," a currently nude Ranma-chan bounced back up and chased Skuld back towards the house.

*GLOMP* Ranma took Skuld's hands and place them on her butt, then leaned in and gave the frozen goddess a peck on the cheek.

"Bwahahaha, looks like the Squirt has her hands full. Redhead's kinda cute," Mara fell to the ground laughing.

"Mara… camera… now," Hild demanded, gasping through peals of laughter. The situation was just perfect, Hild hadn't seen anything quite this amusing in an eon and wanted to preserve it for all time. Plus, a copy of the pictures would make an excellent Christmas present for her ex-husband.

"Yes Hild-sama." Mara popped away and returned to start shooting rolls of film. "Can I get a copy? And I think a certain goddess would really appreciate something to commemorate this event, don't you?"

"Aww, I didn't know you cared," Ranma said, entangling her hands in Skuld's hair, closing her eyes, pouting her lips and leaning forward.

"Eeeep!" Skuld squirmed her way out of Ranma's grasp once more and dived at Urd. "What'd you do old mummy, make her stop!" She yelled, and finally managed to concentrate long enough to summon her clothes. Skuld was still strangely flushed, the sensation of Ranma's soft body rubbing against her own permanently etched into her mind, eliciting strange but pleasant feelings in the young goddess.

"Ohohohoho, Ranma-chan just likes you squirt. Plus, it seems like you are enjoying it," Urd cackled. "Besides, it was just a little potion, nothing major. Seems to be affecting her more than I thought it would though." Urd got a pensive look on her face. "Well, it was designed for use on a male, perhaps the hormone imbalance is causing problems. It was just supposed to lower his inhibitions a little towards you."

"GRRR, when I get out of this, I'm gonna make you pay you old mummy!" Skuld shouted as she dodged around the countertop and out of range of Ranma's grabby hands once more. 'Hmm, more effective against his female form, aha, I'll splash her with some hot water next pass around the sink,' Skuld thought.

Unfortunately, Skuld forgot a tiny, insignificant, minor, itty bitty detail. Ranma was naked. And while Skuld was somewhat able to handle another naked girl in her presence, she didn't account for the change.

'Eeep, it's… it's… huge,' was her only thought as she blushed and her brain melted down.

*GLOMP*

Apparently, the potion was still pretty effective on Ranma's male form.

"Bwahahahaha, did you get that Mara?" Hild asked as she rolled around on the rooftop, clutching her sides with a few tears leaking out.

"Ha ha heh, y-yes, bwahaha." Mara thought, 'Wow, he's a total hunk. And she was hot too. I might have to get involved to make sure Urd doesn't win our little bet. There's no way I'm going to Keiichi's graduation naked.'

"Ohohohohoho, Wild Horse indeed, liking your fiancé little sis?" Urd questioned. 'Mmmm, I may need to *borrow* him for a bit. That looks like it'd be yummy with some whipped cream and some cherries, mmm.'

Skuld fainted.

"Oh my, I suppose I'd better do something about this," Bell said. "Sleep." She cast a powerful spell on Ranma, who promptly passed out on top of Skuld. "You really need to be more careful with your potions sister."

"Suppose I could give him the antidote… Skuld isn't going to forgive me for this one, is she?"

Mara took another picture.

* * *

Akane and Ukyo approached the wrought iron gates leading into Kuno manor. Akane started towards them when Ukyo grabbed her shoulder to stop her.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Akane growled.

"Chill sugar, do you want them to know we're here or not? We go in the front and there's no way we can sneak in to see if they've got Ranchan in there," Ukyo responded

"Oh, good point, let's go around back."

The girls moved around the property until they reached a portion of the barrier wall that had crumbled enough that they thought they could scale it. They slipped over the wall and down into the coconut palms surrounding the house.

"Oh great… I forgot about Principal Kuno, this seems just like the school basement that one time," Akane mumbled.

Ukyo found a path that seemed to lead towards the center of the grounds after searching through the brush for a few minutes.

"This is too easy," Ukyo commented.

There are certain fundamental laws governing the universe. The second law of thermodynamics is one of these. Another is the rather unknown law that states that no potion will survive contact with Ranma. But, perhaps the most important of these laws is the Law of Spite. Basically, if challenged, Fate loves to retaliate.

Ukyo stumbled on a small rock and nearly tripped. She grabbed on to the nearest thing she could find which unfortunately was a tree branch of the nearest palm tree. Now, normally grabbing a palm frond really doesn't do much, but when the Kuno clan is involved, things are rarely normal. Naturally, the frond was trapped…

A pair of logs smashed together directly between the girls, who looked at each other with wide eyes.

"Phew, dodged a bullet that time, ehh sugar?" Ukyo said. Akane took a step forward and the ground seemed to sink an inch before the girls found themselves ducking and covering from a rain of exploding pineapple.

"Arggh! When I see that nut, I'm going to kill him, what's the deal with exploding fruit, jeez," Akane said as she ducked forward and rolled out of the way another projectile.

"No idea sugar, we better get out of here!" Ukyo yelled as she too dodged wildly.

The girls broke into a full sprint, triggering all manner of traps as they approached the mansion. When they finally broke through the tree line, they were covered in sweat, fruit juice and were more than a little frazzled. Akane's shirt was ripped and Ukyo had lost the right leg of her pants.

*BOING*

Unfortunately, their path to the mansion was interrupted by a springboard trap that launched them high into the air. "AAAAAHHHHHH!" the girls screamed.

*SPLASH*

"Phew, good thing this pool was here, ehh sugar?" Ukyo said, clearly the girl hadn't learned her lesson about tempting fate yet.

"Yeah, that might have hurt otherwise," Akane responded. "AIIEEEE, my pants!" she screamed as she bolted from the pool.

"Wha?" Ukyo stammered as Akane grabbed her hand as she passed and dragged her at high speed towards the nearest building. Then Ukyo saw the GIANT FREAKING ALLIGATOR in hot pursuit.

The girls slammed the door shut and blocked it off with a nearby table.

"Jeez, I knew the Kunos were nuts, but this is getting ridiculous," Ukyo said. Akane couldn't do anything but nod apprehensively.

"Ohohohohoho, how dare you peasants invade my realm, doubtless you seek to incapacitate me in your foolish pursuit of my Ranma-sama!" Kodachi declared as she stood up from the roses she was tending and grabbed a nearby ribbon.

"N-no, Kodachi, we don't have time for that right now, have you seen Ranma anywhere, we can't find him? We thought he might be here," Akane said lamely as she backed away. Not that she was afraid of Kodachi, she just didn't want to hurt the girl too badly, that's it. It had nothing to do with the fact that Kodachi was just so insane that even Ranma was intimidated by her.

"My Ranma-sama is missing? Ohohoho, my darling Ramna-sama, your Kodachi will save you from the nefarious women that would seek to entrap you from me. Ohohohoho," Kodachi bounded out a nearby window and off over the rooftops.

"Finally something went right…Well, I guess he's not here… what a waste. Let's just get out of here to meet Konatsu before anything else happens. I really need a long soak," Ukyo muttered as they too jumped out the window, having no desire to risk the wrath of Mr. Green Turtle.

This time, the girls made for the gate, having no desire to risk another sojourn into the forested parts of the grounds. Unfortunately, one last surprise awaited them just before they made it to the gate. Akane set off another tripwire and pair of Principal Kuno's hair clippers were launched at her from a nearby bush.

*BUZZZZ*

A chunk of hair fell to the ground and Akane touched her hand to the top of her head, screamed, and curled up in shock.

* * *

"Aiyah, great grandmother, kitchen destroyer say airen missing, we go find?" Shampoo said.

'Son-in-law gets in far too much trouble,' Cologne sighed. 'You'd think after two years here Xian would learn how to use pronouns at the very least. "Alright child, we can search for your airen, did they give any clues as to his whereabouts?"

"No, kitchen destroyer accuse Shampoo of kidnapping airen. It too too bad Shampoo no think of doing that."

"Very well, you start your search at the dojo, I will attempt to scry son-in-law's location. Be sure to return for the lunch rush, we cannot afford to close every time something happens around here."

"Yes great grandmother."

As Shampoo left the restaurant, Cologne turned and smacked Mousse on the head with her staff. "And just where do you think you're going Mr. part time?" she said.

"Saotome must pay for worrying my darling Shampoo!" The myopic amazon declared.

'I swear, there must be something in the water here, I don't remember acting this foolishly in my youth,' Cologne thought, conveniently forgetting a teenaged indiscretion involving Happosai, a gallon of chocolate pudding, a mule and three packs of string cheese (and get your minds out of the gutter). "Wrong, you can prepare the restaurant for the lunch rush, if I find that we aren't ready we'll be serving Peking duck tonight."

Mousse grumbled something about evil old mummies so Cologne bopped him once more before heading to the basement where she kept her large supply of magical goods. She decided that to determine Ranma's location she should consult her magic 9-ball (even Amazon magic is so cocky that it has to be bigger and better than everyone else's, though the magic 9-ball was actually a very powerful tool). "Oh magic 9-ball, tell me the location of the groom," Cologne chanted and burned some incense before shaking the ball and staring into its depths."

Aye, the lad be in the nude in some wee lassies arms

"I forgot just how much I hated this blasted thing's accent," Cologne mumbled. "Can you tell me anything about this girl he's with?" 'Oh Ranma, what have you gotten yourself into this time, you'd better not think about abandoning my great granddaughter.'

Aye, ye don't want to be messin with the lassie or her sisters

"Perhaps a place I might meet them then?" Cologne wheedled while muttering under her breath about obnoxious and deliberately vague oracles.

They still be in Tokyo lassie.

"How about some landmarks?"

Ye can see Mt. Fuji from there.

"GAH, you can see Mt. Fuji from everywhere in Tokyo you worthless piece of junk, tell me something useful!"

I dun wanna, yer a meanie, phhhbt.

Cologne just bashed her head on the table and resolved to search for Ranma herself when the time permitted.

* * *

Genma and Soun stumbled down the streets of Nerima towards the border with Nekomi. Stunningly enough, the two fools were going on the right path to find Ranma. Unfortunately, neither really had a clue as to their location, having just had a "planning session" in a local bar. The clock just chimed 10 am.

Kodachi, in her brilliance (read: insanity), had a miraculous idea as she saw the pair. Surely the Tendo patriarch would divulge her true love's location if she threatened his pet panda. "Ohohohoho," she cackled as she bounded across the street and launched a potent floral based toxin at Genma-panda. "If you desire your panda's continued health, you will tell me where you have spirited my darling Ranma-sama away to. Tell me his location and I will provide the anti-venom to the poison your panda just inhaled."

Now normally, the compound hidden in the roses was quite deadly to humans. Genma, however, was currently a panda. While it is not well known, this particular compound has a VERY different effect on pandas. And more importantly, the group was standing across the street from the Nerima Zoo.

Soun and Kodachi sweatdropped as Genma-panda shucked his gi and bounded into the panda enclosure. "That's not right… it was supposed to incapacitate hi – ewww." Kodachi bounded away to drink some bleach in the hope that it would remove the terrible scene she just witnessed from her memory. Soun started crying, and while this is hardly unusual, he does not normally vomit repeatedly and bang his head on a post yelling, "Make the bad images stop, make them stop mommy."

Only Genma and the master himself knew the real reason why Genma harped so badly at Ranma about his curse after Nodoka called the seppuku contract fulfilled. You see, everyone knows that Genma fell into the Spring of Drowned Panda and Ranma into the Spring of Drowned Girl. What people fail to consider is that the gender properties of the springs are not limited to the human springs. After all, dunking a male monkey in the Drowned Girl spring produces a female human. What Genma kept so close to his chest was that if you dunk a lazy, freeloading, worthless male martial artist in the Spring of Drowned *FEMALE* Panda the result is, in fact, a female panda.

A female panda that was currently making sexual advances on the only panda in the zoo, the male panda. Genma would not return to her senses for three very sticky days and four months later Ranma would have a baby half-brother.

* * *

Shampoo was a cat. Well, more accurately, she was currently a cat as she was often a girl instead. Normally, she preferred her human form, but none of her tracking skills (and as an Amazon hers were formidable) could begin to compare to her cat form's keen sense of smell.

She had followed the most powerful trail of Ranma's scent away from the front gate to the Tendo compound, which was unfortunately a mostly futile gesture as Ranma had not left through normal means. Shampoo had no way of knowing this, however, so she was faithfully tracking his scent across town.

Unfortunately, her path took her directly past a place most animals in the ward avoided at all costs. They spoke of it only in whispers to each other: the dread Realm of the Devil Lady: Kolkhoz High.

Shampoo did not realize her predicament and sauntered, as cats are apt to do, down the street. She continued tracking the vague scent her Airen had left behind. It was severely diluted, as if it were a few days old or if it had been washed away.

"Aimée! Mommy's loves her widdle Aimée. Aren't you just the most special widdle kitty," Azusa gushed as she scooped up Shampoo and put a bright collar around her neck. Shampoo struggled for a few minutes, but Azusa's grip when it came to cute animals was absolute.

Azusa took Shampoo to her home and proceeded to brush her fur and put a bell and bow on her tail and a few ribbons throughout her fur. Every attempt at escape was quickly thwarted as the champion skater had a lot of practice corralling desperate animals.

Shampoo noticed all of the awards for martial arts figure skating on the wall and knew that in her cat form, she was outmatched. 'Aiyah, this sucks.'

* * *

Meanwhile, in Nekomi:

Urd was apologizing profusely to the blushing pair of Skuld and Ranma. As expected, Ranma just brushed it off with a "No probs."

Skuld on the other hand was livid. "How can you just brush this off! She, she, you, me, naked!" She exclaimed, her skin bearing remarkable resemblance to a freshly boiled lobster.

"Feh, not like nobody's not tried that before, ya know. Sure, this one worked better but I get hit with love potions at least three or four times a week. It's not a big deal really," Ranma responded.

"But, but, that's basically RAPE!" Skuld screamed and stormed off.

"Huh, never thoughta it like that before," Ranma scratched his head and thought, 'you know, maybe she's got a point. Puts the ghoul and Shamps in a new light if ya think about it that way.'

"I'd better go after her," Urd said. "Thanks for being so understanding, but maybe the reason people back home push you around is because you are so forgiving. Do you need anything before I go?"

"There a place around here I can practice? I need ta think about this an' I do better in motion."

"Your martial arts? Feel free to use the temple grounds, just try not to cause too much damage," Urd said before retreating after Skuld.

Ranma walked out into the grounds themselves and marveled at just how beautiful they were. Belldandy certainly did a good job of maintaining them, even Kasumi's gardening seemed to pale in comparison. He started doing a couple basic kata of Tai Chi to calm his mind.

'Huh, that's kinda heavy. I guess I never thought that guys could be raped before, but it really makes a lot of sense. Urd at least seems like she didn't mean for the potion to work that well, but Shampoo and Cologne? I mean, sure Shampoo tried to kill me, but this seems a lot more personal. Oh dear god, Kuno tried something like that on my girl side with the wishing sword, and, and'

Ranma moved into a significantly more aggressive style, working towards harder, more damaging blows instead of the soft, gently flowing movements of Tai Chi. If he'd been connecting with a real opponent, each strike would have hit a vital point to take them out of the fight.

'Gah, I knew Kuno was sick, but he wants to do THAT to ME. Yeesh, glad I never thought of that before, I think I'm gonna be sick. I really need something to distract me for a bit.'

As Ukyo was currently busy finding out, there is truth in the statement: be careful what you wish for. This holds double if you are one of Fate's chosen bitches, like a certain raven-haired, green-eyed wizard or her personal favorite chew toy, Ranma Saotome.

Naturally, Banpei chose that moment to do a routine sweep of the grounds for intruders. With Chibi-Hild's near constant presence, Skuld had thought it useful to upgrade some of Banpei's basic functions. Naturally, this included the directive to escort all unlisted guests off the property.

[Intruder be advised, vacate the premises immediately or face expulsion]

"Huh, the hell is that thing?" Ranma scratched the back of his neck nervously.

[Vacate the premises immediately or face expulsion.]

"Naw, not goin' anywhere, don't wanna piss off the demon-lady," Ranma said dismissively. Unfortunately, this comment registered to Banpei as an admission of working willingly for a demon which classified Ranma as a threat to be dealt with immediately.

*WHIRRR, CLICK* Banpei trained his primary weapons on Ranma's torso.

[This is your final warning, vacate the premises immediately or face expulsion.]

Ranma just snorted and started to walk back towards the temple.

*BOOOOM*

"Ouch," A crispy, smoking Ranma said as he tipped over.

* * *

Urd knocked hesitantly on Skuld's door. "Skuld, open up, please little sister," she called out.

"Go away," a muffled voice responded.

"I know I'm not your favorite person right no w but we need to talk Skuld," she said.

After a few more minutes, Skuld cracked the door open. "You're not going away, are you?" she said.

"No, I'm not," Urd said as she moved into the room and sat on the bed. "Care to talk about what's bothering you little sis? I know you're embarrassed, but it's clearly more than that."

"I'm not sure," Skuld deflated next to Urd. "I'm still mad at you, but I'm pretty sure you didn't mean for that to go as far as it did this morning. Yes, I'm embarrassed, of course I'm embarrassed, wouldn't you be?"

"Well, he's, she's cute, you know," Urd said with a sly smile.

"Yeah, yeah he is, but that doesn't mean I want him rubbing his, her naked body all over me."

"I dunno, I think you kinda enjoyed it, ohohohoho, that's the problem isn't it little sis?" Urd laughed.

"NO I DIDN'T!" Skuld yelled.

"Aha, methinks you doth protest too much little sis. Seriously, is that the problem, you liked it a little bit, even with the embarrassment, now you don't know how to act around him?" Urd put an arm around Skuld's shoulder.

"M-maybe," Skuld squeaked out and flushed.

"Well, nothing to worry about, it just means you're growing up a bit," Urd said in a surprisingly soothing manner. Never let it be said she doesn't love her sisters.

"R-really big sister?" Skuld buried her head in Urd's shoulder.

"Yeah, it's nothing to worry about, now, you gonna skulk in your room all day Squirt?" Urd said playfully.

"Hey, don't call me that you old hag!" Skuld stuck her tongue out and bounced away. Urd just smiled.

*BOOOOM*

"Wha-what was that?"

"Sounds like the new guns I put on Banpei work well, we'd better check."

"What did you do this time Skuld?"

"Umm… I kinda added a shoulder mounted cannon that fires out my own new version of those peebo things from that manga you got me," she said sheepishly. "Sounds like they work great!"

"I should have *never* got that for you."

"Hey! What's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing, let's just go check and see what got blown up this time."

* * *

"Gah!" Nabiki, in a rare fit of frustration stomped into the kitchen of the Tendo home and grabbed some chocolate from the fridge.

"Oh my, are you alright Nabiki?" Kasumi asked from where she was preparing lunch.

"I have a gigantic migraine sis, three hours on the phone chasing down contacts and nothing, absolutely nothing. Saotome isn't smart enough to pull this on me, what the hell does he think he's playing at?" Nabiki ranted and tore into her sweets.

"Don't you think you are being a little unfair to Ranma, little sister?" Kasumi asked gently.

"What, jock-boy isn't that smart, there's no way he got out of Nerima without leaving a trail, so why can't I find it?" Nabiki soothed her forehead by letting rest on the cool countertop.

"Ignorance does not imply a lack of intelligence, dear sister. I know everyone thinks I'm the most oblivious person in the world, but that is far more a matter of circumstance than anything else. I think you are misinterpreting Ranma's lack of an education, do you misjudge me as well?" Kasumi said, for once dropping all pretences.

"Wha-what?" Nabiki was startled, 'Kasumi… observant? Not possible, just not possible. Ranma intelligent, he's just a mindless jock, right? Have I really been played this whole time, what's your game Ranma, why'd you disappear?'

As Nabiki was pondering Kasumi's revelation, the sound of sobbing entered the house.

"Oh my, I do believe father is home," Kasumi said demurely, slipping into her housewife role easily.

"WAAAAAH!! The schools are finished, and Gen, Genma WAAAAAAHH!" Soun collapsed at the table, tear ducts working overtime.

"What's wrong father, would you like some sake?" Kasumi asked.

"Y, yes, thank you daughter, oh Kasumi, it's terrible. Saotome is, he's, it's too horrible to even say, Waaaaaah!" Soun burst out crying again.

"Great… what happened this time," Nabiki snorted.

"Kasumi, Nabiki, anyone home, I could use a hand here," Ukyo called from the walk. She was still completely disheveled, her clothing covered in tears and soaked with pineapple juice and her hair matted. Konatsu on the other hand, looked like the paragon of the demure, Japanese woman, as usual. They were dragging the shell-shocked form of Akane between them up to the house.

Kasumi and Nabiki appeared in the doorway, with Soun close behind.

"Oh my, what happened?" Kasumi asked.

"Never mind that, help us get her inside. I'll explain then," Ukyo said.

Eventually, they managed to get everyone inside the house and to the dining room table where they eased Akane into a seat. Kasumi ducked into the kitchen to put a soothing tea blend together with some light snacks.

"So," Nabiki drawled, "what happened to you guys?"

"Kuno mansion sugar," Ukyo said and everyone winced. "We figured they might have tried to kidnap Ranchan again, place is nuttier than the Kunos themselves. Who the hell keeps a bloody alligator in their pool?"

"Oh dear, are you alright?" Kasumi asked.

"I'll be fine sugar, Akane on the other hand," Ukyo winced. "We made it through most of the traps alright (nutcases trapped the whole damn place) but on the way out, well, Principal Coconuts had one last surprise left." She pointed to Akane's chrome dome.

Nabiki barely contained her laughter. "Alright daddy, we need to know what happened on your search."

"Genma… drugged, panda enclosure, male panda, horrible, WAAAAAAH!"

Nabiki started snickering.

"Nabiki, that's not very nice," Kasumi scolded. Inwardly, she was chuckling too. She may have felt bad for her little sister, but it was funny. "So now uncle and Ranma are missing? Oh well, I hope they have fun. Come on Akane, you need to take a bath."

Everyone just looked at her incredulously.

* * *

Back in Nekomi, Urd and Skuld stepped out of the temple into a warzone. There were scattered craters everywhere. Ranma and Banpei were trading blows before they sprang apart in another explosion.

"PEEBO!"

"Moko Takabisha!"

*BOOM*

"STOP IT!" Skuld yelled and Banpei suddenly powered down. Ranma relaxed his stance slightly. "What the hell do you think you are doing?!"

"Hey, ain't my fault bucket o' bolts over there decided to blow me up," Ranma said.

"Banpei, no more attacking Ranma," Skuld scolded then sighed. "Great, look at this mess. Bell's gonna be soooo mad. And look what you did to Banpei, he's totally wrecked." Skuld sank to the ground. Banpei did look significantly worse now that Ranma thought about it. He was missing an arm and his chestplate was covered in dents. Circuitry was exposed and sparking.

"Ah, sorry bout that. I can help clean up," Ranma offered.

"Actually, Ranma, I'll take care of it," Urd said. "Come with me for a moment though?"

"Sure, what's up?" Ranma asked as they moved inside.

"Look, I can fix the yard up much quicker than you, but Banpei is beyond anything I can do. I think you should do something to cheer Skuld up," Urd said.

"Alright, I can see that. Whaddya think I should do?" Ranma said.

" Take her out."

"What?!" Ranma sputtered.

"What, you scared of going on a little date Ranma?" Urd teased.

"I ain't scared of nothing!" Ranma declared.

"Great, so go tell her that you're going to the auto show and you'd like her to come along. Then take her to dinner," Urd said with a triumphant smile.

Ranma realized that he had been played again. He sighed. "Alright."

"Oh, one more thing Ranma," Urd said and laid a hand on his shoulder. "Dress nice."

* * *

AN: Well, that's another installment. This chapter was a bit more random than most of what I have planned, but the Nerimites had to react to Ranma being missing. Most of this was done because it amuses me. As always, constructive criticism or just general thoughts are always appreciated. There will be significantly less focus on the Nerima gang from here on out, but I just thought it was too much fun to pass up. And, the story will probably actually have character development in the future, *gasp*. There will still be random hijinks but the story will actually progress.


	4. Ch 3: That Time

Chapter 3: That Time

Disclaimer: In the prologue

Urd was attempting to force Ranma into a nice pair of rather tight slacks and a dress shirt in preparation to take Skuld out. "Now why do I have to wear this again?" He said.

"You need to dress up for a date Ranma, it's just what you do," Urd responded.

"Never bothered before, plus, I can't exactly fight well in this," Ranma commented, pointing at the offending and restrictive clothing.

"But Ranma," Urd whined with a big pout on her face, "if you don't put any effort into your appearance what will your date think. Every girl puts a ton of thought into what they wear and if you just turn up looking like you always do it means you don't care enough to dress up for them."

"Fine, fine, whatever," Ranma responded. "I still think this is too much effort, 'specially for some geeky, tech thing."

"Don't let Skuld hear you say that buster, she's really been looking forward to going," Urd said menacingly.

"Yeah, yeah, still think it'll be boring."

"Whatever, just go, and remember how I told you to act in the restaurant," Urd shooed him out of the room. 'Damn,' she thought, ' his butt looks GOOD. Skuld better appreciate the effort I'm putting into this.'

'Now, I just need to get there ahead of them to make sure everything goes off without a hitch. Aha, one of my special aerosolized lust potions should do the trick. Ohohohoho.'

* * *

'Damn,' Skuld thought, 'Ranma cleans up really well.'

They were currently walking to the auto-show. Skuld had been stunned when Ranma asked her if she wanted to go out on a date, and even more shocked with his suggestions. Naturally, she knew that Urd was involved, but she didn't see why she couldn't enjoy herself. After all, she did want to see the show and Ranma WAS rather cute when he wasn't trying to glomp her. Well, he was still cute then but it had been extremely embarrassing.

For his part, Ranma was understandably nervous and watching his surroundings, just hoping that the night didn't turn out to be as disastrous as some of his previous dates. Sure, he'd been coerced into taking Skuld out, but as far as he knew that was just the way it was. After all, he'd never been out on a date by his own free will before. He had always been coerced into it by the promise of a cure for his curse or by being sold as a date by Nabiki. Granted the auto-show did not exactly excite the young martial artist, but Urd had suggested it as the best way to cheer Skuld up and Ranma is a sucker for a girl in distress. The problem however, was that in Ranma's experience, no date ends well. Either fiancée troubles or a fight would inevitably crop up. And, while Skuld had power in spades, Ranma still didn't want her getting caught in the crossfire that permeated his life.

'Crap, the Squirt and the stud are going out on a date?' Mara thought as she observed the pair leaving the temple from across the street. 'Urdie moves fast… I'll give her that. I'd better get involved if I don't want to lose our little bet.' She moved close enough to eavesdrop on them and learned their plans for the night. 'The restaurant will probably be too crowded, and I want to catch them before they even make it there. Hmm, sending some minions in isn't an option, wonderboy down there would trash anything I can conjure up and I really don't want them to kill him myself. If only I could…' She pulled out a copy of Ranma's file. 'Oho, wait… what's this. Bwahahaha, perfect.' Mara's clothes shifted from her normal biker style clothing to a much racier leather outfit as she pulled a document out of the file folder.

Ranma led Skuld to a quaint Italian style bistro a few blocks from the University for dinner. Bell had suggested it as a quiet place with good food, both of which appealed to Ranma and got them a reservation for a secluded table near the back. Ranma held Skuld's chair out for her, receiving a brilliant smile in return. 'Wow, she's even cuter than Akane when she smiles,' Ranma thought. 'I dunno what the big deal with the chair is, but Urd said it was important and Skuld seems to like it.'

"So, I just wanted to say I'm sorry about glomping you earlier," Ranma said with a light embarrassed blush.

"No, it's not a problem, I'm sorry for hitting you," Skuld said. "I should have known you weren't really in control."

"Not a big deal, I get hit harder all the time," Ranma commented offhandedly. "So.. what's good here, I've never really had Italian, sounds kinda like Ramen and Okonomiyaki though."

'Not a big deal? I smashed him repeatedly on the head and he thinks it isn't a big deal?' Skuld was inwardly fuming. "Um, try the ravioli or the tortellini if you want something close to real Italian. They're both very good."

"Think I'll try both then," Ranma replied with a slight smirk.

Skuld merely quirked an eyebrow and thought, 'Well, he does seem like he eats a lot.'

'Huh, thought she'd yell at me for eating like a pig like Akane always does. Bah, I'm not Ryoga.'

"So Ranma, aside from apparently being my fiancé," Skuld blushed, "I know pretty much nothing about you, what do you like to do?"

"Martial arts, I'm the heir to the Saotome School of Anything Goes," Ranma replied.

"Wow, you must be quite good then," Skuld said.

"Of course, I'm the best," Ranma scoffed.

Skuld raised her eyebrow and thought, 'He's got quite an ego, but he's probably pretty good.' She said, "Must have been a lot of work, what do you want to do with it though?"

"I… I dunno, I never thought about why I was training. I never get any say in it anyway," Ranma slumped a bit in his seat.

"Well, maybe it's time to think about what you want to get out of your life," Skuld said gently. 'Shoot, I didn't mean to make him depressed. Maybe if I compliment him, though his ego really doesn't need any help…' "Well, you must be very good to hold your own against Banpei," she said.

"Ehh hehe, sorry about that," Ranma scratched the back of his neck apprehensively.

"Don't worry about it. I should have added you to his approved list and I've been meaning to make some upgrades to his hardware anyway. Besides, he's almost fixed," Skuld said.

"You rebuilt that thing already, wow!" Ranma was genuinely impressed. Sure, he would never bother trying to build something like that, but he could appreciate the skill required to make such an advanced robot.

Dinner lapsed into companionable, but somewhat awkward small talk.

Ranma's brain slowly melted into goo as Skuld's breast vibrated against his arm, soft flesh pressed tightly against his rock hard biceps. Unlike Shampoo or Ukyo's glomps, Skuld wasn't trying to claim him and wasn't grabbing at his personal areas. Once he got over his initial trepidation about getting smacked around by 120 pounds of violent, pissed off tomboy (Hey, Akane has him programmed pretty well), Ranma found having the goddess hanging on his arm to be very pleasant. Skuld was currently dragging her date around the auto showcase at Nekomi Tech, and fairly vibrating with excitement as she explained all of the sights. "And check this out, I helped design this one! It's got a dual fusion core engine that can push out 20,000 horse power with the limiters I put on it to prevent wind shear stress and can accelerate to 100 kph in less than 5 seconds. I hid a bit of divine computer tech in the drive-system so it balances perfect and shifts flawlessly," Skuld gushed.

Ranma's only initial thought to penetrate his slightly fogged mind was, '….what?' as the technobabble overwhelmed him. He did have to admit that the bike both sounded and looked quite impressive.

The item in question could passably be called a motorcycle, except it had a few too many wheels. It was a sleek 7 foot long mass of highly polished chrome with metallic blue highlights and leather upholstery. The controls consisted of a pair of joysticks directly behind a small windshield/computer monitor. Pairs of wheels were attached on each end of the chassis.

"So you and that Keiichi guy built this thing?" Ranma asked.

"Yep, it's what we were finishing in the garage when you showed up, isn't it great?" Skuld chirped happily.

"It's pretty cool, maybe you'll take me out for a ride on it sometime?" Ranma asked, genuinely impressed with the young goddess.

"Really? You want go on a ride with me?" Skuld's eyes shone with happiness and she started bouncing enthusiastically, causing Ranma's eyes to glaze over once more as her breasts once again ground into his arm.

*BOOOOM* the ground shook and debris exploded outward from a nearby wall. Ranma scooped Skuld into his arms and jumped back as an umbrella passed through the space he was just standing in. "SAOTOME PREPARE TO DIE!"

"You idiot! P-chan, look at all the innocent people you could have hurt!" Ranma screamed and pointed at the cowering crowd. He gently set Skuld down behind him. "I'm getting seriously tired of you blaming all your problems on me moron!"

"Shut up! And who is that, a new hussy? For leaving Akane, prepare to die!" Ryoga charged forward in a berserker rage.

"Hussy! Who are you calling a HUSSY!" Skuld screamed and smacked Ryoga with her hammer, stunning the lost boy temporarily.

"Grrr, can't even fight your own battles Saotome, you coward!" Ryoga let fly a few bandanas, sending nearby people to the ground. One errant bandana hit the gas tank of the car behind Ranma as he dodged.

"Oh shi" *BOOOOOOM* Ranma was tossed like a ragdoll through a skylight on the apex of a rapidly growing fireball as everyone else ducked behind what little cover was available.

"AAAAAHHHHHHHH!" Ranma screamed as he went crashing down into the Rec center's swimming pool through a skylight.

*SPLASH*

'Great… it just had to be water, didn't it, Oh no, Skuld was probably caught up in that blast!' Ranma thought as she dragged her bruised and singed body back to the convention center. Her clothes were burnt, could barely keep her decent and were completely soaked through.

"Skuld, are you okay… huh?" Ranma trailed off confused as she saw the mostly pristine room and Skuld standing over prone form of Ryoga.

*GLOMP*

"OH Ranma, you're okay! I was so worried," Skuld wailed as she held her tightly.

"Shh, shh, it's okay, I'm fine," Ranma relaxed in Skuld's arms since it seemed that no one was hurt. "What happened, I thought this place was going to be trashed."

'She was worried about me?' Ranma thought, 'no one but Kasumi ever worries about me.' Ranma blushed a bit under Skuld's fussing, but had to admit that it was kind of nice to be held and cared for.

"Oh, I just contained the explosion, I'm so sorry I couldn't get it in time to save you," Skuld said in a small voice.

"Don't worry about it, I'm alright, just a bit beat up. Can we get out of here?" Ranma said tiredly.

"Sure, let me just finish fixing this place up," Skuld said and her goddess marks glowed brightly as she chanted softly under her breath, restoring the wall and the destroyed car. The spell wiped the memory of the battle and her true nature from the minds of all the random bystanders. "There, that should do the trick."

Ranma turned to walk out of the building but collapsed. "Ouch! Crap, I think I pulled something," she said.

"Here, let me help," Skuld draped one of Ranma-chan's arms over her slightly taller shoulders and the two girls limped off down the street, Ranma glowing with an embarrassed blush. 'Skuld's really nice, sigh, why couldn't any of my other fiancées treat me like this when I'm hurt. It's not like it doesn't happen all the time, but no, they leave me to drag myself home no matter what condition I'm in.'

Back in the convention center, Urd's aerosolized lust potion went off. Couples went off to find convenient broom closets and empty rooms. A few groups even shacked up in bathroom stalls and one lucky pair picked the locks to the roof to have a wonderful evening spent under the twinkling stars.

Ryoga came to and looked into the deepest eyes he'd ever seen. A trickle of blood seeped out of his nostrils as he was swept up and carried off to the back seat of one of the nearby show-cars.

The next morning he would wake up entwined with Tamiya and the resulting scream could be heard for blocks.

'That was fortunate; I didn't count on one of Ranma's rivals to help me wreck this date. Now for my part, I hope I get this right,' Mara thought as she adjusted her extremely revealing clothing.

"AIREN!" Mara shouted as she glomped onto Ranma's free arm.

"Ack, Shamp… who the heck are you?" Ranma's bewildered face flushed three shades of red as she felt Mara grind her assets into Ranma's own. It was evident that Mara was not wearing a bra.

"MARA! What the hell are you doing?" Skuld screamed.

"Why I'm just showing my fiancé, or is that fiancée right now ("I don't mind hun," she added in a whisper that prickled Ranma's ear, causing her to flush as she couldn't prevent the images), my appreciation," Mara said casually as she continued to hang off of Ranma.

"WAIT, what? You're my what? What the hell did pops sell me for this time?" Ranma's brain temporarily rebooted and Mara pulled out an infernal contract.

"Let's see, in exchange for a free meal and a jug of sake, I Genma Saotome, do hereby give my firstborn son's hand in marriage, yaddah yaddah, yaddah, basically, someone affiliated with Hild lands stud-boy/girl here and I'm it," Mara smirked.

"Grrrr!" Skuld steamed and unsheathed her hammer, the events of the night catching up to her.

'Great, and she was being so nice too. I know what happens next, she's going to pound me and it's not my fault. Why does this stuff always happen to me? Everything was going fine earlier, why'd Ryoga have to show up, and now this,' Ranma's thoughts cycled into a spiral of depression and she cringed, waiting for the inevitable hammer blow.

*SLAM* Mara went sailing off into the night.

"Ranma?" Skuld asked gently as she laid a hand on the quivering redhead's shoulder. Ranma briefly flinched away. "Ranma, what's wrong?"

"Just, just get it over with already, c'mon, this is the part where you're supposed to hit me. Why are you taunting me like this?" the little redhead stuttered out.

'What happened to her, why would she think I'd hit her for something Mara did?' Skuld thought angrily. 'Someone has really done a number on Ranma and they better hope that they never run into the Norns. She looks so small and vulnerable right now, far cry from the macho egotist from earlier.'

"Ranma, I'm not going to hit you," Skuld whispered softly as she scooped the smaller girl into her lap. Ranma latched onto Skuld and started sobbing into her shoulder.

'What's wrong, why is she being so nice to me? Everything went wrong on the date and that's when the girl is supposed to beat on the guy, right? Maybe… maybe that's not.. normal. Why couldn't anyone else have been nice to me in Nerima, did any of them actually care about me at all?' Ranma wondered as she continued to sob. 'Why can't I stop crying? I.. I can't stop?'

Skuld just continued to stroke Ranma's hair until the sobs lapsed.

"Th-thank you," Ranma whispered as she pulled back from Skuld's embrace with puffy eyes and tearstains on her cheeks. "I don't know what came over me."

"Shh, it's alright, let's just get you home, okay?" Skuld said as she slung Ranma's arm back over her shoulder and helped Ranma stand. They made it about two blocks when Ranma suddenly froze. "Ranma?" Skuld turned her head to see the redhead looking longingly across the street at an ice cream parlour.

"Iceeee creeeaaaaam," Skuld said wistfully. "C'mon, let's go!"

A few minutes later found both girls sitting in a booth with massive sundaes. Skuld giggled at Ranma's antics. "You really had him wrapped around your finger," she said, referring to the slightly stunned counter boy.

Ranma blushed and moaned as she ate another spoonful of the delightful confection. "Whatever."

"Aww, come on Ranma, you have to admit it's funny that you're such a good flirt," Skuld teased.

"Hmph, I wasn't flirting," Ranma ducked her head.

"Oh, then what do you call it," Skuld said.

"I, I… oh alright, it is flirting, it just comes naturally to me and it isn't like it means anything," Ranma shot back.

They continued to banter over their ice cream before heading home in much better spirits. By the time they made it back, Ranma was exhausted and wanted nothing more than to put on some clean clothes and to fall asleep. She didn't even bother turning back into a guy, she just threw on a pair of boxers and a muscle shirt and fell face first into her bed, sound asleep.

* * *

Ranma groaned as she looked at the clock on her nightstand. 'Ungh, my stomach! Huh, guess I forgot to change back before bed, oh well. Oh Kami-sama, that explosion must have really done a number on me,' she thought as she clutched her abdomen. She eventually managed to drop back off to sleep.

A few hours later, and Skuld gently shook Ranma awake.

"Huh, Skuld, what's going on?" Ranma slurred out.

"C'mon, get up or you'll miss breakfast," Skuld said as she continued to shake Ranma slightly to keep her from falling back asleep.

Ranma's stomach growled angrily and she looked up at Skuld sheepishly. "I'll be right down, just lemme use the bathroom first, k? Ugh, I still feel like hell, but I guess I did get blown up yesterday." Ranma stood up with a grimace, her leg still hurt and her stomach felt like it was clenched painfully. She actually felt a little nauseous, but food still sounded great. She blearily trudged off towards the bathroom.

"Alright, hurry up though or we'll eat it all!" Skuld called out after her.

"Ooo, you'd better not!" Ranma yelled back as she ducked into the bathroom. Skuld just chuckled to herself and walked downstairs to the dining room.

The Norns and Keiichi sat at the table, waiting for Ranma to join them to eat when they heard an ear piercing shriek from upstairs.

"AAaaahh!!"

"Uh-oh, I hope he wasn't attacked!" Keiichi said as the group sprinted up the stairs. The Temple, aside from Ranma's presence, had been relatively quiet for a few weeks and it seemed like they were due for some trouble after all.

"Ranma, are you alr-" Skuld started as she ripped the door open and the group barged inside. She squeaked out, "-ight." Skuld turned an incandescent shade of pink and Keiichi had to turn around to prevent a nosebleed.

"Oh my," Bell gasped as she too flushed in embarrassment at seeing Ranma sitting on the floor near the toilet without her pants on, legs spread apart and staring blankly at her hand which was covered in blood. "Um, big sister, would you mind taking care of her. I don't want breakfast to be ruined," she said as she hastily shooed her boyfriend out of the room.

Urd just smirked. "Alright little sis, I've got this one." She closed the door behind herself and walked towards Ranma. "Hey, kiddo, what's wrong?" Ranma, however, was nearly catatonic and didn't respond. Urd closed the distance and gently laid a hand on her shoulder, "Ranma?"

Ranma jerked suddenly and launched herself into Urd's arms sobbing. Her surging female hormones combined with her disturbing symptoms had thrown her emotions off entirely. "Wha-what's wrong with me Urd?" she bawled out. "I'm bleeding from … from m-my girl parts. Wha-what's wrong with me, am, am I dying?"

Urd just gathered the clearly shaken neo-girl up in her arms and softly stroked her hair. "Shh, it's alright Ranma-chan. It's just your period. It's normal for a girl your age," she soothed while she gently cradled the Ranma's smaller form.

Eventually Ranma's sobs lapsed and she flushed in embarrassment but only half heartedly struggled through Urd's embrace which was surprisingly calming. Ranma felt protected in Urd's arms. And while that fact unsettled her further, Ranma had no real desire to give the comfortable feeling up. "Sorry, I… I don't know what came over me," she murmured.

"No, shh, it's okay. I'd probably be pretty upset too," Urd said.

"S-so, this is normal?" Ranma asked with a look of dread on her face.

"For a normal young woman, yes, it's perfectly normal," Urd said and put up a hand to silence Ranma's inevitable protest. "I know, I know you're a guy, but you're also a girl and this means that you're a fully functional one too. Didn't your parents explain this sort of thing to you?"

"Explain what?" Ranma asked as a confused little frown graced her face.

"Hoo boy, so you've never had 'The Talk' then, right. I really need some sake right about now," Urd mumbled. "Alright, let's get you cleaned up and then go to my room. We're going to want the privacy." Urd rolled Ranma off of her lap and helped her over to a washing stool. "Just get cleaned up quickly while I go get some supplies. Don't get into the furo until I get back though, alright?" she said before leaving the room.

Ranma sighed. She really didn't know why she broke down earlier and was absolutely mortified that she had clung to Urd. Being held had felt really nice though. Ranma carefully washed her body, focusing on removing the blood from her girl parts. Normally she was avoided touching herself there as much as possible. It made her feel uncomfortable, but not in an unpleasant way. Today she didn't have that luxury as the caked on blood took some serious scrubbing to remove. And for some reason, the sensations were much much stronger than usual. She felt her nipples tighten, but in a very pleasurable way and heat built up in her belly. Her cheeks flushed and a shudder ran through her body as the washcloth touched a particularly sensitive spot and she couldn't help but cry out a little, "Aahhh!"

Naturally, Urd chose that moment t walk back in. She smirked, "Don't stop on my account." Ranma's entire body flushed in embarrassment.

"I hate when that happens," Ranma whispered as her body shuddered again.

"Why, it feels nice right, what's not to like?" Urd shot back.

"Because," Ranma's eyes squeezed shut and she clenched and unclenched her fists, "I have no control over it and it feels strange. It makes me feel so, so dirty and … and it means Akane is right, I am a pervert." She shuddered again.

"I'm sorry," Urd said and gently laid a hand on Ranma's shoulder, causing her to flinch slightly. "I shouldn't make fun of you, but there's nothing perverted about it at all. Are you telling me you've honestly never masturbated?"

Ranma just shook his head.

"Just so you know there's nothing wrong with it. Everyone does it. It's a normal part of growing up. For guys and for girls."

"R-really, you mean… girls do that too? I thought," Ranma blabbered.

"Yes, of course they do. I don't know what this Akane has said to you, but it's completely natural that you would feel curious about your female body. I, for one, think you should learn to enjoy it," Urd said.

"Hey! I am not some sort of pervert!" Ranma interrupted.

"Ranma, it wouldn't make you a pervert. I'm stunned you haven't done so already. You have a unique gift. No, don't interrupt me. Listen to me, you have a gift: you get to experience all aspects of human life and yes, all aspects of human sexuality. At the very least… you'll understand whatever woman you settle down with all the better for it (and you'll probably be a heck of a lover once you get the hang of it) but there's no reason to shy away from exploring that gift of a body you have," Urd said. Ranma looked like he wanted to protest this but she held up a hand. "Just think about it. The body may have come from a curse but it really should be a blessing. Well, everything but what I'm going to teach you now," Urd snickered and pulled a pack of tampons and pack of pads and some undergarments out.

"No way… no way am I wearing any of those girl underwear, nuh-uh!" Ranma protested.

"You really should, you don't want to give all the guys a free show of your rather... impressive assets, do you Ranma? And you have no idea how much more comfortable wearing a bra really is, do you?"

"But when I change back to a guy I'd look ridiculous!" Ranma said.

"Hoo-boy. Ranma, when you're on your period, I don't think you're going to be able to turn into a boy. This process is fundamental to female biology," Urd said.

A fearful look flashed over Ranma's face and she dove into the furo…

"See, I'm not," she trailed off after hearing the distinct soprano of her voice. "Great, just great," Ranma muttered dejectedly and hung her head to hide the fact that her eyes were tearing up again.

Urd joined the startled redhead in the furo and pulled her into a loose hug. "I know, it's tough, but you'll get used to it. After all, every girl on the planet goes through this every month, are you man enough to do it to?"

A shade of Ranma's usual cocky smirk graced her face momentarily before it fell one more time. "But I'm a guy, I don't want to have this happen. What'd I do to deserve this, the curse sucked enough without it." Ranma pouted.

Urd just snickered and said, "No one wants this to happen, but it does. Alright kiddo, these," she pointed to the tampons and pads, "are to keep the blood from getting everywhere. You'll have to wear panties if you want to use the pads, and I'll show you how to put a tampon in. I personally prefer the tampons; they are more comfortable, less noticeable and less disgusting. Especially for an athletic girl like you I'd recommend them."

What followed was an even more embarrassing discussion than Ranma could have possibly anticipated. She blushed profusely when Urd demonstrated how to insert a tampon and paled when Urd mentioned that this meant that she could get pregnant. Urd then gave her a basic run-down in female anatomy and arousal, hitting all the high points. Ranma didn't think that she had blushed that much in her whole life.

Ranma eventually decided to use a tampon, in spite of how uncomfortable inserting it made her feel. Having something stuck in her girl parts and having her period completely destroyed the wall of masculinity that Ranma had hid behind since gaining the curse. She felt completely vulnerable, but at the same time, not having to maintain the façade was strangely freeing.

Ranma and Urd eventually made their way back down to the breakfast table. Urd was wearing her usual ensemble of revealing robes that hinted at a latent sexuality and Ranma (with Urd's help) had picked out a pair of slacks and a blouse that clearly showed that she was wearing a bra. Ranma had to admit, the support was nice.

"Oh my, you look very nice Ranma-chan," Belldandy said. "Are you ready for breakfast?"

Ranma grumbled cutely. "S'not my fault. I ran out of clothes." Her stomach rumbled and she blushed, "And yes, breakfast would be great."

"Well you look great kid, but I guess we should go shopping after this, how many outfits do you have anyway?" Urd asked.

"Three sets of my Chinese Silks," Ranma answered.

"THREE!?" Urd screamed.

"Erm, yeah… Pops never thought I needed any more than that."

"That's completely unacceptable, you've really never owned much of anything have you. Especially for a young lady, you need some more clothes including supportive undergarments. And we'll make sure that some of them don't look out of place on a male, but you really need to contain your assets, unless you want to give people a free show." Urd leered at Ranma, who fidgeted.

"Stop teasing him you old hag!" Skuld jumped in.

"Protecting your fiancée, ehh Squirt?"

"Ooo, you're going to get it old mummy," Skuld yelled before priming one of her patented Skuld bombs.

"Sisters, stop, please," Bell interrupted as she served breakfast. "Skuld, why don't you join Urd and Ranma on their shopping trip?"

"Oh, there's a sale on some components that I need for Banpei that I've want to go pick up. Sure, I guess I'm in. Someone has to protect Ranma from the mummy anyway," Skuld said.

"Skuld, don't antagonize your sister," Belldandy frowned.

"Sorry Bell," Skuld said sheepishly.

"That's alright, well, eat up everyone."

Ranma tore into the food with her usual gusto.

"Kiddo, chill out, slow down. Don't you bother to taste your food?" Urd said with an expression resembling disgusted amusement dancing across her face.

"Hmm," Ranma paused for a moment and swallowed. "I always eat this fast, it's the only way to get enough food around pops. If I don't, he'll steal my food."

The trio of goddesses seethed, respect for Genma dropping rapidly. Urd however, continued, "Well, is your father here Ranma?"

"Um, no. What's your point?" Ranma responded, causing Urd to sigh and put her face in her hands.

"Ranma, there's no one to fight for the food. You should really try to eat like a normal person. It would be polite, for one, and more importantly, you'll actually be able to taste the food better."

"Oh," Ranma blushed in embarrassment, but she did slow her pace down to something that began to resemble civilized, even if she still ate extremely quickly. 'Wow, this actually does taste better. Bell is a great cook, I wonder if Kasumi's food would be even better if I could slow down to try and enjoy it.'

The rest of the meal passed in light conversation.

* * *

Mara casually strolled up the path to the temple, suppressing a wince as she passed the wards at the outer wall. She was dressed almost demurely, well, compared to her normal mode of dress. Bell would balk from wearing the semi-revealing, tight crimson leather top with a pair of hip-hugging jeans and knee high boots. About halfway up the path she saw the door open and watched mirthfully as a smirking Urd danced out of the way of an annoyed Skuld.

"I am not going lingerie shopping old hag!" Skuld screamed as she lobbed a bomb at her older sister.

"Why not Skuld-chan, don't you want to show off your cute little body for your fiancé?" Urd taunted as she dodged around the explosion.

"What?!" Ranma screamed from inside the house. "You want me to go lingerie shopping with the two of you? Nuh-uh, no way is that gonna happen!"

"Aww c'mon Ranma, you really need the support. Besides, don't you want to showcase that hot little bod of yours?" Urd said as she dodged around another Skuld bomb.

"Eww, no way. I've got enough trouble with people hitting on me as is," Ranma scoffed.

"Aww, you mean you're scared to wear lingerie because you think people will appreciate it?"

"I'm not scared of anything!" 'Aww crap, me and my big mouth,' Ranma thought.

"Great, so we'll get you something spicy," Urd said. "Aww, c'mon Skuld, it was just a joke."

"Bwahahaha," Mara couldn't take it anymore and fell to the ground laughing. Incidentally this stopped the confrontation as all three other girls turned to sweatdrop at the sight of a demoness first class laughing so hard that she couldn't even stand.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?" Skuld screamed as she primed a few weapons and called for Banpei.

"Wh-hahaha-wait. I'm –bwahahaha- I'm not here to… snort… start anything," Mara choked out.

"Are you done?" Urd snarked.

"I'm –hah –yeah, I'm done," Mara snorted. "I just thought I'd come by and see if *MY* fiancée wanted to do something today?"

"Huh? What are you talking about?" Urd looked genuinely puzzled.

Ranma just frowned. 'She better not be thinking what I think she's thinking.'

"Oh, you didn't hear about it? I thought mommy-dearest would have offered the job to you first Urdie," Mara said as she produced the infernal contract in a flourish and handed it off to Urd.

"That woman is NOT my mother," Urd shot back. "Oh wow, your father is a bigger idiot than I could have possibly imagined Ranma. At least he only sold you in marriage and not your soul though..." she trailed off as she read the exact terms Genma had agreed to.

"WHAT?! Pops coulda sold my soul to the devil?"

"Well, she prefers Hild-sama, but I guess that's not really all that important is it?" Urd said absently. "Oh wow, really? One night of free drinks and snacks a bar for an engagement, your father is a real creep."

Ranma just silently fumed, wondering what else her father had done to screw up her life.

"Aww, c'mon kid, it ain't so bad." Mara slinked forward and trailed her fingertips down Ranma's sternum. Her voice dropped into a husky tone and she whispered, "think of all the fun we could have together."

Ranma's brain slowly shut down. Mara's touch left fire trailing behind at the same time her voice made all sorts of promises of even more pleasurable activities. She blushed and started to stammer.

"Leave Ranma alone!" Skuld yelled and pushed Mara away.

'Ohoho, protecting your fiancée, you go sis,' Urd thought.

"What's wrong Squirt, afraid you can't measure up?" Mara said and struck a sexy pose.

"Grrrrr!" Skuld steamed.

"Hey hey, chill, she's just trying to get to you Squirt," Urd interrupted. Sure, the fight would probably be pretty amusing, but she still really wanted to get Ranma-chan into some lingerie. "Anyway, we're going out shopping Mara, I assume you're joining us?"

"Why would you invite her Urd?" Skuld whined.

"You know, she's actually pretty fun sis, besides, it's not like Mara's about to start anything, is it?" Urd looked significantly at the demoness.

"No, I'll be good," Mara said.

"Great," Urd chirped. "Let's go!"

The quartet of girls wandered around downtown Nekomi relatively peacefully. Sure, Skuld was shooting daggers at Mara, but that was hardly unusual. At least they hadn't come to blows yet. For her part, Ranma was sweating bullets as Mara remained sensuously draped off her arm in a manner that was entirely more enticing than any of her fiancées (even Shampoo) had previously pulled off. She was waiting on the other shoe, or more accurately violent reaction.

"Ohoho, we have to start there first," Urd said and pointed at one of the boutiques.

Mara smirked and cocked an eyebrow. "Mmm, that sounds like a great idea, don't you think so Ranma?"

Skuld blanched and Ranma flushed a brilliant red. Urd had pointed out a lingerie shop with very racy selections.

"Naw, I don't need any of that stuff," Ranma attempted to push past the store but Mara just grabbed her arm.

"No, that's definitely the place to start. How can you shop for clothes if you don't have the," her voice dropped to a sensual register, "proper accoutrements?"

Ranma flushed a deeper shade of crimson but let herself be dragged into the store alongside an indignant Skuld.

"I'll be right back stud-girl," Mara said and winked at Ranma as she shuffled off into the leather section.

"C'mon you two, let's see what they have," Urd said and started picking out a few articles for each of her companions. "Ooo, this would look great on Ranma, don't you think Skuld?" Urd held up a small and lacy number in baby blue. "Why don't you go try this on Ranma?"

"Ack, ewww, no way am I wearing that," Ranma said. "If I have to wear stuff like this can't they at least be functional Urd?"

"Ohohoho, this has a function Ranma," Urd cackled before holding up a yellow thong panty and bra combination for Skuld's inspection. "What do you think about this Squirt?"

"Shove off hag, I don't need you to pick out my underwear!" Skuld shot back.

Ranma carefully edged away from the impending violence and picked out some very plain cotton sports bras (hey, she did have to admit having some support was doing wonders for her back) and some simple white panties to wear whilst on her period. She walked over to one of the changing booths and carefully put the garments on before looking at her reflection in the mirror.

'Damn, my girl body is hot. I can't believe it's fully functional, this period stuff is so gross. I never thought I'd say this, but these underwear are really much more comfortable than just wearing my boxers. Oh well, guess I'd better go show everyone. Somehow I think Urd's going to give me a hard time though.'

Ranma stepped out of the changing booth and stepped between the still bickering Norns. "Well, will this be enough?" she said, defusing the argument.

"C'mon kid, live a little. Those are so plain. Don't you want to show off just how hot that bod of yours really is?" Urd chided.

"Well I think they're fine," Skuld huffed. "Not everyone is as slutty as you sis."

"Whoa, stop it, I'm not breaking up another fight between you two okay?" Ranma said. "And Urd, while I will admit, I am proud of how this body looks," Ranma blushed and mumbled out, "I'm not comfortable wearing lacy underwear, this is already embarrassing enough."

Urd scooped Ranma into a loose hug, startling the neo-girl. "I'm sorry, I didn't think about that. Of course you aren't comfortable with wearing sexy underwear yet, but I still think you should get something that's a little less… granny."

"Fine, we can look at some other stuff, but nothing too extreme, alright?" Ranma relented.

Mara chose this moment to return wearing what could passably be called undergarments, consisting of a black g-string with a tiny patch of leather that barely preserved her modesty but still let the entire world know she was shaved and a bikini style bra that contained just enough fabric to contain her areolas. "Hi hun, what do you think?" she said as she launched herself into Ranma's arms.

"Gack!" Ranma choked out, completely stunned by Mara's attire, or lack thereof. Skuld just bopped Mara on the head with her hammer and Ranma bolted back to the safety of the changing room with a few more pieces.

"Bwahahaha, did you see the look on her face?" Mara cackled.

"You were just teasing her?" Skuld demanded.

Urd just started chucking. "C'mon sis, it was pretty funny. Besides, you'd think she'd be used to it by now."

Skuld just shook her head and thought, 'why did I agree to come along on this trip anyway?'

They eventually finished and left the store. Ranma had purchased a few sports bras for working out along with some boy cut panties and a selection of nice, but rather plain bras. Mara bought the outfit she'd jumped Ranma in along with one other leather set while Urd and Skuld just helped.

A few more stores received similar treatment. Mara would come on to Ranma wearing the most provocative things she could find (one purple dress particularly stood out in the neo-girls mind as being nearly the sexiest thing she'd ever seen). Skuld stocked up on electronic parts and Urd had bought a very revealing silk cheongsam. Ranma wound up with a small selection of dresses, skirts, slacks and blouses and she had to admit, at least to herself, that she had fun trying on some of the clothes once she stopped thinking about it. She had even gone off on her own and purchased one sexy little black dress of her own. For some reason when she tried it on she had felt wonderful and she didn't exactly plan on wearing it often. Besides, she had rationalized, between the bunny costume and some other things from Nerima she had worn far worse.

Mara had left them in the shopping district, saying she had business to attend to and the three tired girls walked back to the Temple.

* * *

Ranma let out a long suffering sigh, 'These jeans make my hips look huge. Maybe the white skirt would be… dammit, not again.' Two days had passed and she was slowly getting used to wearing her new clothes. She still felt a twinge of embarrassment every time she put the underwear on, but compared to the tampons it was hardly noticeable. Her mood was a bit unstable, one moment she would revel in how good she looked, the next she'd be disgusted with herself for feeling that way and later she'd start worrying about whether or not her butt looked fat. All in all, her raging hormones were playing havoc with her emotions.

'Oh well, at least this didn't happen in Nerima. I don't think I woulda survived the embarrassment, if Akane didn't kill me for being perverted first. May as well see what everyone's up to.'

Ranma found Urd lounging in front of a television watching soaps. "Hey Urd, I'm bored, anything going on?" Ranma said.

"Well, I think Keiichi is catching up on some school work, Bell is out shopping and I don't know about Skuld. Wanna join me?" Urd said, gesturing to a nearby spot on the couch.

"Naw, think I'll go see what Skuld's doing," Ranma said.

Ranma found Keiichi and Skuld at the table engrossed in their work. Keiichi was working on a problem set for an engineering course while Skuld seemed to be jamming a myriad of electronics into a box. "Hey, there anything going on?" Ranma said.

"Oh hi Ranma," Keiichi looked up from his work for a moment. "Don't you have any school stuff you need to keep up with?"

"Naw, I never bother with that stuff anyway. It's not like I really need it to run a dojo," she said. She muttered to herself, "not like I can keep up with school anyway, stupid pops."

Skuld however, has literally divine senses and overheard Ranma. "What?" she shouted, "Of course school is important. Maybe you should take some time while you're here to catch up. Besides, is running a dojo really what you want to do?"

"Well, it's not like I've ever had a choice in the matter, and how would I catch up? It's not like I can get my work here, and it's not like I can really keep up since I barely every went to school."

Urd had followed Ranma into the room and overheard the conversation. She jumped in, saying, "Of course you have a choice in the matter Ranma-chan. What do you like to do aside from your martial arts? Oh, I suppose I can help you get caught up on school work as well."

"Pops never let me do anything else on the road, and it's not like I've exactly had time to do much else than fight in Nerima," Ranma said. Her face falls into a frown and her eyes start to mist slightly. "I wouldn't even know where to start."

"Hey, it's alright kiddo. You should take some time here to figure out what you really like doing while you're here," Urd said and laid a comforting hand on Ranma's shoulder. "I mean, we all have hobbies aside from our jobs. Keiichi spends his time racing and building bikes even though he's working on his degree. Skuld loves to tinker with her tech and build new devices but her job is debugging. And me, I like shopping, matchmaking, potion making and dancing. And Bell really likes to cook. I'm sure we can help you find something you like, maybe even more than martial arts."

"Yeah, and we'll help you find some things you might like too, right Keiichi?" Skuld said.

"Of course!" Keiichi said.

"Th-thanks everyone," Ranma said as she turned and pressed her face into Urd's shoulder. Her shoulders started shaking as she broke down sobbing.

"Hey, it'll be okay kid," Urd soothed as she rubbed Ranma's back.

A few moments later Ranma got her emotions back under control and turns back to the group after shooting a thankful smile at Urd. Her eyes are slightly puffy but she's smiling. "Thank you everyone, I can't remember anyone ever being so nice to me." Her face fell and she muttered, "Damn hormones, I'm sorry you had to see that."

"How are you holding up with your time?" Skuld asked. Keiichi edged his way out of the room, no guy wants to be around for period talk.

"Well, that midol stuff really helped but I can't stand these mood swings. I swear I've cried more in the past two days that I have in the past ten years. It always makes me feel better, but I don't want to be so weak that I have to cry," Ranma said. She shrugged. "The whole thing sucks though. The bleeding is gross, the cramps are annoying and I look fat in everything that I wear. And the worst part is, I actually care."

"Yeah, well, no one really likes having their period Ranma. I'm surprised that you're handling this so well, especially the part where you can't switch back," Urd responded and Skuld nodded her agreement.

"Besides," Skuld said, "I think it actually means you are stronger if you can face your emotions, even if that means crying."

"Yeah, I guess I miss being a guy, but it's not like I'm not used to this by now and I've been stuck for much longer. What gets me is the loss of control, these mood swings are so embarrassing," Ranma said.

"Hey, there's nothing wrong with a good cry kiddo, besides, it's not healthy to suppress your emotions."

"But pops always said emotions were for the weak and if I ever showed any he'd hit me," Ranma said then backed away as Urd and Skuld erupted in goddess sized battle auras.

"HE WHAT?" Urd screamed. "I swear, I'd better never run across your father, I might do something I'd regret."

"Me too," Skuld gripped her hammer reflexively. She noticed that Ranma looked slightly frightened by their rage. She gestured subtly to Urd.

"I know, we need something fun to do to help Ranma-chan catch up on enjoying life," Urd said suddenly while grabbing Ranma and swinging her around. "I know just the thing too!"

"Oh great, I guess I'd better tag along to protect Ranma from you, old mummy!" Skuld playfully shot back.

"Seriously though, I think we need to go out and do something fun and different. Say Ranma, do you like to sing?" Urd said.

"Um, I've never really tried it. I've done martial arts ballroom dancing, but never martial arts singing."

Urd slung her arm around Ranma's shoulders and started to guide her towards the door. "Well, you better get ready to hit the town then sister, we're going out for some karaoke!"

Skuld just grumbled, "Great.. not this again. Have fun you two, I am not getting dragged out to another one of those lame karaoke bars you like Urd."

"Psh, you just don't know how to have fun Squirt."

"Whatever hag, I'm going to get back to work on my new robot. Have fun Ranma, even though I don't like karaoke doesn't mean you won't. Urd would want to do something lame first though," Skuld stuck her tongue out and blew a raspberry at her older sister. "Maybe when you get back we can go get some ice cream!"

"Sure, that sounds great Skuld!" Ranma yelled back as Urd led her out the door.

"Have fun Ranma, I can't believe how much your father has messed up your life," Skuld muttered as she started soldering two microprocessors together.

* * *

Urd and Ranma were walking relatively peacefully towards a local karaoke bar when Mara appeared in a flash of brimstone and glomped onto Ranma's arm, rubbing herself slowly against the smaller redhead. "Where do you think you're going cutie?" Mara whispered huskily in Ranma's ear making her entire body go stiff in shock and desire.

"Knock it off Mara," Urd scolded and smacked the demoness on the arm.

Mara pouted. "Psh, you're no fun Urdie. Besides, I'm supposed to show affection to my 'fiancée,' aren't I?" However, Mara did let go of Ranma, allowing her brain to reboot.

"Do you really have to do that to me?" Ranma said with an embarrassed blush.

"You're saying you don't like my attention cutie? Your body seems to appreciate my efforts," Mara quipped, motioning towards Ranma's clearly hardening nipples budding through the fabric of her silk shirt.

Ranma blushed harder and crossed her arms over her chest to hide the obvious signs of her arousal. "It makes me uncomfortable, okay?" Ranma said tartly.

"Oh, c'mon, relax a little princess," Mara shot back.

"Ooo, what did you call me?" Ranma fumed.

"Chill you two," Urd cut in. "Mara, lay off a little, okay? And Ranma, you should really learn to deal with physical contact a bit better. Anyway, we're going out to a karaoke bar, want to join us Mara?"

"You live with multiple violent fiancées and see if you like physical contact," Ranma muttered to herself.

"Sure, why not?" Mara said and took Ranma's arm gently. "Is this okay at least?"

"Fine, whatever," Ranma said.

Karaoke went late into the night and Ranma found that in addition to being very talented, she really enjoyed singing. Mara had left them partway through the night but asked if she could visit the temple the following day. Urd and Ranma stayed until closing, Urd enjoying a little too much sake and Ranma singing every chance she got. They left the bar around 1 am to walk home.

"I tolshd you that you wouldsh like it," Urd giggled happily and spun around in a few circles on the sidewalk. "Shee… thingsh besides martial artsh can be fun too. You were really good too Ranma-chan. You could probably makesh a career out of that short of thing if you wanted." Ranma blushed a little at the thought. Urd, of course, took that as her cue to fall sideways into Ranma before collapsing to the sidewalk in a fit of giggles.

"Sheesh, can't take you anywhere, can I?" Ranma said fondly. She really had enjoyed the evening. She dragged Urd to her feet and slung one of Urd's arms around her shoulders. "C'mon, let's get you home."

"Thanksh, you're a really schweet gal, guy too," Urd slurred out before quickly pecking Ranma on the cheek and giggling.

Ranma just stood stunned for a second before shaking her head and continuing to drag the inebriated goddess back to the temple. They eventually made it home but it was far too late for Ranma and Skuld to go out for ice cream. They got Urd settled in bed before heading off to sleep themselves.

* * *

"Ugh, my head," Urd groaned as a beam of sunlight pierced her eyelids. 'What did I do last night? Better get some coffee,' she thought before memories started to percolate into her awareness. 'Wow, Red sure can sing. Hmm, Mara's coming over later, better warn Bell,' Urd stumbled to her feet and downstairs to the kitchen while trying to ignore the stabbing pains each step sent shooting behind her eyes. 'Huh, wonder how I got home, Ranma must have had something to do with that, she's… he's a sweet kid, I hope Skuld appreciates the effort I put into finding her a real winner.'

As soon as Urd entered the kitchen a cup of steaming java appeared in front of her face. "Good morning sister," Belldandy chirped, causing Urd to wince. 'Too perky too early in the day,' the eldest Norn thought as she gratefully sucked down the blessed caffeine.

"Ah, thanks Bell. Just to warn you, Mara might stop by later but I don't think she'll cause any trouble," Urd said.

"Oh, that won't be a problem Urd, Keiichi and I are going out to the beach later today anyway," Bell said with a blush.

"Ohohoho, finally putting the moves on your man little sister?" Urd cackled, causing Belldandy to blush deeper and duck her head.

"Please, must you embarrass me like that?" Bell asked.

"Ohohoho, you really need to get laid sis," Urd responded.

Fortunately, Belldandy was spared answering by the ringing of the doorbell. "Oh my, I should answer the door." She quickly left the kitchen, causing Urd to break down laughing. 'Oh you are too easy little sis.'

Belldandy returned to the kitchen with Mara in tow. "Hi Urdie," Mara chirped in a disgustingly chipper tone after noticing the clear signs of a hangover, causing the goddess in question to wince.

"Keep it down Mara, I had a rough night."

"Oh fine, be that way," Mara said dismissively as Belldandy guided her to an empty place at the breakfast table.

"Would you like some breakfast Mara?" Belldandy asked.

"Sure."

"Alright, I'll put out an extra setting," Belldandy responded as she brought the food to the table.

Ranma, Skuld and Keiichi entered the dining room shortly thereafter, prompting Mara to attempt to glomp onto Ranma once more. She was interrupted by an irate Skuld fending her off with a hammer. "Knock it off, we're trying to eat here," Skuld said, Mara's presence no longer bothering her as the demoness had been hanging around the temple a lot recently.

"Thanks Skuld," Ranma said and sent her a grateful smile which caused the young goddess to blush. Urd just smirked in the background in Mara's direction.

An hour later found Ranma and Skuld heading out to get an ice cream, to make up for the previous evening. Mara was planning on tagging along as well. Just as they were about to leave the gates of the temple, Ranma heard something she never really wanted to hear again. "AIREN!" Shampoo yelled as she glomped on to Ranma's arm.

Like most Amazons, Shampoo had been trained as a tracker since she was a young girl and she was quite competent. After all, she had managed to track Ranma across China and to Nerima by herself to execute the kiss of death. Tracking Ranma's disappearance from Nerima was far beyond her own skill level though, as Ranma hadn't left through any traditional means. Cologne, however, was much more advanced and had managed to narrow down Ranma's presence to a few possible locations. It should come as no surprise that the wrinkled old prune herself was cackling on the boundary wall of the temple. "Ha ha ha, you thought you could escape 3000 years of Amazon history and skills son-in-law?" she cackled. Had she been more careful, she would have recognized Ranma's company as beings that even she would not want to mess with. But, like most Amazons, Cologne was relatively sure of her own superiority and was having too much fun watching Ranma struggle through Shampoo's embrace.

"What do you think you are doing little girl?" Mara demanded as an angry looking haze started to coalesce around her.

"Shampoo is greeting husband, what silly looking woman want with husband?" Shampoo said.

"SILLY LOOKING?!" Mara yelled, before forcing herself to calm down. "That happens to be my fiancée you're bothering, I suggest you stop before I get seriously pissed off," Mara responded.

"Hey, Ranma's a person, not a piece of meat Mara!" Skuld interrupted.

"Butt out Squirt," Mara said dismissively. "So, little girl, what's it going to be?" She smirked at Shampoo.

"You is obstacle, obstacles are for killing!" Shampoo shouted as she disengaged from Ranma's arm and brought out her bonbori. She charged towards Mara swinging the maces skillfully for an incapacitating blow.

Cologne finally took the time to read the new girls' auras and gasped in shock at what she saw. These two beings made Saffron look like an appetizer at an all you can eat buffet. "Shampoo, no!" she yelled but it was far too late.

Mara avoided Shampoo's strikes with ease and taunted, "What do you think you are doing with those toys little girl."

"Grr, DIE!" Shampoo screamed as she continued her relentless assault, moving in for a sweep kick, thrust combo that Mara seemed to flow around effortlessly.

"Is that really the best you can do?" Mara asked as she stifled a yawn with the back of her hand.

Shampoo was enraged; this bimbo was mocking her abilities. She increased her speed yet again and entered into the chestnut fist, which she had learned earlier in the month. After nearly a minute of moving at top speed and nearly exhausting her reserves, Shampoo managed to land a glancing blow.

"Ouch, you bitch, you managed to break one of my nails!" Mara yelled in outrage. She noticed a pattern embedded into Shampoo's life force and smirked. "Just for that, I think I'm going to take care of you permanently."

Ranma started to move forward. While Shampoo's constant glomps and attention annoyed her, she didn't want to see the Amazon girl dead. However, just as she was about to break up the fight, Mara waved her hand dismissively and a tangible sense of power washed over the area.

"Meow?" Shampoo said as she was turned into a cat.

"Ahhhh, ahhh, c-c-c-c-cAAAAATTTTT!" Ranma yelled and started to edge back towards the wall.

"I thank you for sparing my great-granddaughter's life," Cologne said to Mara, recognizing that Shampoo could have just as easily been killed. Cologne splashed Shampoo with a flask of hot water. Cologne nearly fell over in shock when the hot water failed to reverse the Jusenkyo transformation.

Now, with the exception a strange breed from Turkey, all cats hate getting wet, and being drenched in scalding water naturally led to a rather pissed off Shampoo-kitty. Her fur stood on end, claws extended and she hissed as she bolted forward to instinctively escape the evil water source. Unfortunately, her path took her directly up Ranma's leg, which she scratched accidentally. Between the shock of having a cat in such close proximity, the angry hissing and spitting noises it was making, and the pain from the claw scratches, Ranma's mind did the only thing it could.

"Mroaww," Ranma said as she curled forward to walk on her hands like a cat. She punted Shampoo away, clearly upset at the smaller feline upstart. Ranma-cat turned to angrily hiss at Cologne who had to admit that she had been involved in repeatedly making the sometimes-girl's life difficult.

"Oh no, the Neko-ken," Cologne said with no small amount of fear at the idea of a pissed berserker with enough strength to kill a demi-god targeting her. She backed away very slowly so as to avoid attracting any more of Ranma's ire before bolting after her wayward great-grand kitty.

With the annoyance removed, Ranma-cat let out a happy little "Mroaww" before starting to clean herself with her tongue. Urd and Mara both fell over laughing. Skuld shot both of them a glare before hesitantly approaching the cat-girl. "Ranma?" she asked tentatively.

Chibi-Hild had been observing the temple residents as usual. She had barely managed to hold in her mirth at seeing Ranma-chan act like a cat. She was rather stunned to see someone trained in a technique she thought lost with the worship of Bastet. 'Hmm,' the small Demon Queen thought to herself, 'what can I do to spice this up a bit? Ooo, I know!' She started giggling madly as she gathered the mana required for a small spell.

*WHOOOSH*

The goddesses and Mara were stunned as a large quantity of small leaves blew past them to land around Ranma who started to roll around and rub herself on the plant matter while letting off little contented mews and chirps.

"What just happened?" Skuld asked.

"No clue, she seems to really like those herbs though," Urd said offhandedly.

'Herbs… herbs,' Mara thought. 'Something funny is going on here… wait, could it possibly be…,' She fell over again cackling. "Bwahahahahaha."

"What's so funny?" Urd asked somewhat obliviously.

"Bwahaha- she's- haha – getting –hahahaha –stoned out of her -hehe – mind," Mara gasped out between gales of laughter. "I – hahahehe- think that's catnip."

"Catnip?" Skuld mouthed at Urd, while thinking, 'But Ranma is human, and catnip shouldn't affect her, even if her mind is currently cat-like.' And normally, Skuld would be correct, catnip would attract Ranma-cat just like it would any other cat but her basic physiology was still human so the catnip would not have its normal affect. However, this wasn't just any catnip, Hild, even though it was just her chibi form, had created it. And all evidence pointed towards it working very very well as Ranma the cat stumbled around making silly noises, mewing and giggling.

"Mew!" Ranma chirped happily as she jumped at a butterfly, missing by a large margin.

"Um, Urd, is she going to be okay?" Skuld asked as she looked worriedly at the stoned catgirl.

"Seems happy enough to me," Urd replied as Ranma tackled Mara and gave her a quick lick on the face before bounding towards the house.

"We'd better catch her before something happens!" Skuld chased after Ranma to watch as the martial artist bounced off the walls like a ping pong ball on speed before diving between Keiichi's legs, sending him off balance to fall into Belldandy who responded with an "Oh my, are you alright Keiichi?"

"Just fine, wonder what insanity is happening now," Keiichi said with a resigned sigh. The relative peace they had experienced recently was just too good to last. They boggled when Skuld burst past them shouting something about Ranma thinking she was a cat and getting into catnip. Keiichi just turned to his fiancée and said, "There's no way she actually said what I think she did, is there Bell-chan?"

Belldandy's cheeks turned pink and her eyes sparkled. She threw her arms around Keiichi; after all, he very rarely was so affectionate as to call her by that nickname when other people might hear. She sighed happily when he returned the embrace. "Yes, I think Skuld did mention that Ranma was acting like a cat on catnip. I suppose we should help, though I'm very comfortable right now." She reluctantly removed herself from Keiichi's embrace and gracefully dragged him after her younger sister.

Ranma was having the time of her kitty-life; everything was so colorful and smelled so wonderful. She bounded out of a window and started to roll around in one of the flower beds before bounding over to a tree to sharpen her nails on. The bark peeled away like sawdust under the onslaught of her chi claws. A passing moth distracted her temporarily and the chase took her back towards the front door where a wonderful scent wafted into her nose.

Skuld had just stepped out from the door when she was tackled by an extremely affectionate Ranma-cat. The neo-catgirl rubbed her face all over the wonderful smelling person and she exulted in the warmth of the lap she was sitting in. "Purrrrrrrr," went Ranma-cat as she nuzzled the warm, good smelling lap contentedly. She was getting very tired, but she wanted to make sure to cover herself with the smell before she went to sleep.

Skuld turned an incandescent shade of pink as Ranma-chan rubbed her body in ways that no one had ever done before. The catgirl's rumbling face vibrated and tickled some very sensitive areas on the young goddess' body. Skuld couldn't stop her body's response when Ranma's face nuzzled between her breasts her nipples tightened and her entire body started to get sensitive. Then the catgirl started to gyrate her entire vibrating body against Skuld's, briefly touching many of her erogenous zones. A warmth started to build in her belly and she had to resist the urge to touch herself. 'Oh my goodness, that feels… wonderful,' the goddess thought as her muscles started to tense. Ranma-cat then gave her a brief little kiss on the lips, and a tingling feeling exploded into Skuld's brain. Finally, just when she thought she couldn't take anything else, Ranma buried her face in Skuld's lap, vibrating very sensitive parts of Skuld's anatomy.

"AAAHHHHH!" Skuld's back arched and her entire body tensed. Every nerve in her body felt like it was exquisitely on fire. A few moments later awareness returned to the young goddess and she squeaked when she saw the entire household and Mara watching her. Urd sauntered over to her youngest sister and teased, "My my, you certainly are making good use of your fiancée sis."

"Now that wasn't very nice sister," Belldandy chided.

"I…I, leave me alone!" Skuld squeaked out and bolted into the house, leaving behind a very confused Ranma-cat.

"Meow?"

"Don't sweat it kiddo," Urd said as she gave the catgirl a pat on the head.

In the bushes, chibi-Hild just burst out laughing before disappearing in a swirl of hellfire.


	5. Ch 4: Resolutions

S/He's All that Chapter 4: Resolutions

Disclaimer: Again, I own nothing involved in this though I'd think that would be evident since no one professional enough to try to make a living by writing would *ever* come up with something quite as ridiculous as this. And naturally, this is for fun, not for profit.

Ranma sighed as he felt the tingling feeling of the change ripple over his body as he sank into the furo. Damn it was good to be male again. The whole period business stunk. Sure, he had been stuck in girl-form for significantly longer before; the Chardin and Herb incidents both came to mind. But this was much worse in its own way. Granted, in this case he had known that he'd be back to normal (well, as normal as Ranma could ever claim to be) soon enough, but the hormones and general grossness factor were just terrible. One thing had certainly changed though. Ranma could no longer claim that he was just a guy like he used to like to. Guys simply did not bleed from their girl parts nor did they have a fully functioning womb, a fact that completely freaked Ranma out. Not that he (or more importantly, she) had any intention of proving just how functional it actually was. And she was just so much more emotional during her time than normal, which she desperately hoped wouldn't carry over to everyday.

Ranma let the hot water soothe his tense muscles as he relaxed in the furo, reveling in the return to his male body. Now if only he could figure out a way to get rid of the awkwardness permeating the house. Skuld had been incredibly terse with him recently and would quickly duck out of any room that he entered with a brilliant red blush on her face. Ranma figured he had done something silly like kiss her while he was under the effects of the Neko-ken, but he didn't know what he could do to break the tension. At least she wasn't inclined to hit him for whatever it was that he did to embarrass her.

'Oh well,' he thought as he lounged in the tub, 'at least this beats Nerima.' He thought back over his time in Nekomi. He had been spending the last few days hanging out with Urd and having a genuinely good time. He really liked all three of the Norns. Belldandy was so serene and peaceful and being in her presence made him feel like everything would be alright in the world. If he had to describe her using his improving skills at math Ranma might even have come up with the following equation: Belldandy = Kasumi squared. Skuld, on the other hand, was a genius and constantly impressed him with what she could build and had a childlike enthusiasm for life that was really infectious. She was also a lot less violent than he had come to think of a fiancée as being, though they weren't really connecting on all that much. Their interests weren't similar at all and things had been awkward between them pretty much since he first showed up. The most recent incident just made things worse.

Urd was another story though. Sure, the elder goddess was really uninhibited and had caused a lot of problems for Ranma in the short time he knew her, but she was also forcing Ranma to have fun and to figure out what s/he wanted out of life. She was someone he could relate to, tough on the surface, but secretly quite vulnerable. Though, thinking about how he found that out still brought a blush to his cheeks. They had gone out to karaoke again the previous night and she (Ranma refused to go out to sing as a male) had once again had to help Urd home. And this time, the inebriated goddess had poured out her heart while they walked, well in Urd's case stumbled, home. How she felt so lonely all the time because it had been centuries since she had truly connected with anyone aside from a few friends and her sisters. Her relationship with Mara reminded him a lot of his own with Ryoga, though her situation at least was changing for the better. And neither of them thought that they'd ever find someone to love them for who they were, Urd because she hadn't found someone in so long, and Ranma because of his curse. Of course, when she'd finished pouring out her heart, Urd had said how sweet Ranma was and how if s/he wasn't with her younger sister that she'd go after him herself. She then clumsily pecked Ranma on the lips before giggling and walking into a lamppost.

To be honest, Ranma didn't know what to think about his situation in Nekomi. All he knew was that, as confusing as it was, it was a lot better than still being in Nerima. He wasn't constantly beaten, fought over seriously like a prize, and while Mara loved to embarrass him, no one was really causing many problems. And perhaps best of all, no one was challenging him to ridiculous contests or trying to kill him. Sure, he liked martial arts, but the break was very nice.

Meanwhile, Skuld was sulking in her room. She blushed profusely thinking about the Neko incident. 'I can't believe that happened, felt nice though. But why did everyone have to see me have my… my first orgasm. Father, this is so embarrassing, what should I do? I know I'm being really unfair by treating Ranma so coldly, I know it isn't really her fault but every time I see her… why does this have to be so hard?'

'I need to get over this, I know it's not her fault, even if she did steal away my first experience it isn't like she was in control of herself. I just wish, I wish that it had been my choice. And with a guy, I'm sorry but I just can't think of her like that. Even if she's pretty it doesn't really do anything for me. Still, I've been taking this out on her and that isn't fair. I need to make it up to her somehow. I know, maybe I'll teach her how to use a computer,' Skuld thought happily as she left her room to go find the wayward martial artist. After a few minutes Skuld found herself in the kitchen with Belldandy. "Hey big sis, where's Ranma at?" she asked.

"Oh, hello little sister. I believe Ranma said that he was going to go look around town for a bit. He said something about looking around the university," Belldandy responded.

"Damn, he's out? Guess I'll have to talk to him later," Skuld said and started to walk back towards the hallway. Halfway there she stopped and turned around with a surprised look on her face. "Wait, he?"

"Oh my, you didn't know? Ranma's time is over," Belldandy said.

"Good, I'm sure he's very happy," Skuld said. 'And so am I, maybe things will be easier if he's back to male again. At the very least it can't hurt. Though, I think I'd have been even more upset if HE had stolen my first orgasm. It's just hard comfortable around her. Oh well, nothing to do about it until he gets back,' she thought as she wandered back to her room to play around with her computer.

* * *

Ranma was idly wandering around the Nekomi Tech campus, looking for something to do. For the first time in nearly a month, he was completely on his own. The college was beautiful though and he really hadn't spent much time out and about since coming to the temple.

"Ranma Saotome! I challenge you to a battle!" a male voice with an American accent shouted.

'Great, something to break the boredom. Been a while since someone recognized or challenged me, hopefully this'll be a good fight,' Ranma thought. "Alright, I'll accept the challenge, who are you?" Ranma turned around to see an American, a few inches less than 6' tall with a lean muscular build, short and spiky black hair and a generally handsome face.

"I'm Zach Siler of the Hacky-sack school of martial arts," the American said as he skillfully juggled one of the aforementioned objects between his feet and knees.

Ranma just dropped into a ready stance to await his opponent's first move. He noted a crowd gathering on the periphery to watch the fight. Zach started to speed up his movements, the hacky sack started to blur as it passed between shoulders, knees, feet and head. By this point, the onlookers couldn't even track the motion, though to Ranma, it was painfully slow. With a swift back flip, Zach sent the hacky sack flying straight towards Ranma's face with a cry of "Hacky-Sack Attack!"

A moment later, impact occurred. It stung a little, Ranma supposed, but really, he'd been hit harder when he was five. "Um, okay, was that it?" Ranma asked as he fingered the projectile. 'Sheesh, that was lame. Sure, I've seen some crazy styles but honestly, who uses a soft object as a weapon. Yeah, Okonomiyaki -based martial arts may sound more ridiculous, but at least Ucchan's spatula is sharp.'

"You resisted the mighty hacky-sack attack? You are truly a fearsome opponent, I suppose I'll have to use my hidden and mightiest technique!" Zach declared, proving that you don't need to be from Nerima to have severe personality disorders.

Zach pulled 16 more hacky sacks out and started to juggle them expertly. A few girls in the crowd swooned over the handsome American martial artist. Moments later, he sent them all flying towards Ranma with a cry of "Hacky-Sack School of Martial Arts Final Attack: Hacky-Sack Barrage!"

Ranma just casually caught all the soft projectiles before snorting, "Okay kid, are you done? I'd hate to have to actually knock you out."

"No, I'll be good," Zach said, chastised. He looked up with a determined expression that once again gained the attention of a few of the females in the crowd. "You are indeed a worthy opponent Ranma, we shall meet again!" He ran off into the sunset (hey, martial arts challengers have to do something cliché, it's like a rule).

'What a weirdo,' Ranma thought. 'Oh no, it's almost dinner time, I'd better hurry back to the temple or I'll miss one of Belldandy's divine meals!' It would take nearly two hours before Ranma would realize the magnitude of his unintentional pun.

* * *

It had only been two days since Ranma defeated Zach and life at the temple was proceeding as normal. Skuld had pulled Ranma aside earlier in the day to talk.

"Hey Ranma, do you have a few minutes?" Skuld asked.

"Sure, what's up?" Ranma said as he jogged over to her from where he was practicing a few kata.

"I, I wanted to talk… about what happened the other day," Skuld said. "Can we go somewhere more private for this, like my room?"

"Sure." They relocated to Skuld's bedroom where the goddess carefully shut the door before sitting on her bed. Ranma took a seat on the edge of the desk. "Sorry about whatever happened. I probably gave you a kiss and it freaked you out, huh?" Ranma said, drawing on his experiences of falling into the Neko-ken in Nerima.

"N-no, not exactly," Skuld replied. "It, well, it was substantially more than that. I, intellectually I don't blame you. I know you didn't have any control over yourself. I'm sorry I've been avoiding you, but, well, Ranma, you… Father this is hard. Ranma, you gave me my first orgasm. A-and," the young goddess couldn't hold in a sob.

Ranma quietly gathered Skuld up in his arms and softly stroked her hair until she calmed down.

"I, I'm sorry. It's just, it happened in public, and that was supposed to be a special experience. But everyone saw, and then Urd made fun of me, and you were a girl at the time and I really don't like girls like that and then every time I saw you it just brought back the memory and I know I've been treating you really unfairly. I, I'm sorry," Skuld babbled.

"Don't worry about it. Believe it or not, I think I understand," Ranma replied, surprisingly gently.

"H-how can you possibly understand this?" Skuld asked quietly as she relaxed with her head against his chest. The position was really comfortable.

Ranma related the whole incident with Mikado of the Golden Pair, and how his, well, her first real kiss had come at the hands of some creepy guy. Skuld just listened and snuggled slightly deeper into his embrace. She sighed, "Thanks, I guess you do understand. I'm sorry about the past few days. I really want to make it up to you. Maybe I can teach you how to use a computer at some point."

Now, Ranma didn't have much interest in computing, but he realized what she was trying to do. Skuld was trying to work past her embarrassment and break the ice that had formed between the two of them. "Sure," he replied, "I think I'd like that."

"Great!" Skuld moved over to her chair and powered up the desktop. The two spent the next couple hours going over different things with Skuld showing Ranma the basics. She even showed him some websites dedicated to martial arts and a forum where high level martial artists would trade training tips. Needless to say, even if he didn't think that he would be interested, Ranma was hooked.

* * *

It has often been postulated that if you get enough monkeys, enough typewriters, and enough time, one of them will eventually reproduce the works of Shakespeare. Now, most people realize this is a rather stupid metaphor, as the monkeys will nearly assuredly just reduce themselves to flinging poo at each other. However, the point remains: even without great talent, occasionally one can produce results if one tries enough.

The Tendo family and Nodoka had come to Nekomi. Soun would have you believe that it was due to his excellent tracking skills learned during his training under the dreaded master. Nabiki would have you believe that she had aggressively hunted down all leads and traced Ranma's path. Akane would rant about how Ranma was a pervert. Kasumi, on the other hand would tell you the truth: Yuka had overheard from her older brother that Ranma had defeated a martial artist at his university, Nekomi Tech, and had told the family the following day.

It was now the weekend, as Kasumi had pointed out that her younger sisters really couldn't afford to miss school. They had started their search at the Nekomi Tech campus, asking around for information. Eventually, they ran into Megumi.

"Excuse me, miss?" Nodoka called out.

"Oh, yes, what can I do for you?" Megumi responded.

"I'm looking for my son, I heard that he was staying somewhere around here. Have you seen this boy anywhere?" Nodoka asked as she pulled out Ranma's picture.

"Oh, Ranma? Sure, he's staying at my brother's place. I was actually about to head there myself, would you like to come with me?" Megumi smiled. Ranma would probably be happy to see his mother.

"Oh yes, thank you!" Nodoka hugged the younger woman before backing off and apologizing. "Sorry about that, it's just been a long time since I've seen him."

"Nothing to worry about, come on," the cheerful girl responded.

A few minutes later found the group approaching the temple. "Keiichi!" Megumi chirped.

"Oh, hi Megumi, what's going on, who are all these people?" Keiichi looked up from where he and Skuld had been fine tuning another bike.

"Oh, this is Ranma's mother, and these are… well, actually, I don't think we introduced ourselves," Megumi said sheepishly.

Skuld got a hard look in her eyes before heading into the house, having recognized the Tendos from Ranma's file. "Big sisters, we've got a problem," she yelled out.

A moment later, the three Norns were gathered together, and Skuld quickly informed them that the Tendo family plus Nodoka had come to call. "Well, nothing to do but to go meet them," Urd said. "And I'm sure Ranma will be happy to see his mother. Ranma!"

"Hmm, what's that Urd?" a soprano voice called out. Ranma-chan came bounding downstairs with a packet of study materials tucked under her arm. Urd had convinced her that the magical matrix surrounding her Jusenkyo curse was not completely heartless. If she willingly spent some time in her female form, she would get splashed significantly less. This was welcome news to the young aquatranssexual, half the reason she hated the curse was the complete loss of control it had meant. Besides, getting wet constantly was really annoying. Today she was wearing a knee length white skirt and a sleeveless red blouse. A bra strap was poking out innocuously on her right shoulder.

"Ah, Ranma-chan, you look nice," Urd commented.

"Thanks," the redhead chirped. "I figured I'd get in some girl time while studying."

"Good plan, but we've kinda got a situation kiddo," Urd said. "You mom is outside w-" She couldn't finish the statement though as Ranma bolted out the door.

"Mom!" Ranma yelled as she exited the temple.

"Ranma?" Nodoka looked over at her… son? Her manly son who looked very nice dressed in casual clothing that wouldn't look out of place on any teenage girl in Japan. Clothing that screamed female, and, was that a bra? Nodoka's eye twitched slightly but she hugged her… daughter anyway. "How have you been dear, everyone's been worried about you," Nodoka said.

"Yeah right," Ranma mumbled, getting a snort of laughter from Urd (the Norns had made their way outside). "It's good to see you again mother." Ranma pulled back and smiled brightly.

"Um, Ranma, you aren't, locked again, are you?" Nodoka asked. Sure, the woman was a bit nuts about manliness and grandchildren (don't forget the grandchildren) but she was also a very traditional Japanese woman. Which in this case meant that, unlike most Nerimites, Nodoka possessed a basic understanding of tact.

"No, why do you ask?" Ranma was genuinely confused.

"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK?" Mount Akane couldn't take anymore and erupted. "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU WEARING, PERVERT?"

"Rrrranma! How dare you run away from my little girl!" Soun erupted in a demon-head.

Ranma recoiled slightly at the sheer venom she felt directed in her direction and finally noticed the Tendos. The Tendos that, with the exception of the gently smiling Kasumi, were currently looking at her incredulously (in Nabiki's case) and hatefully (Akane and Soun).

"I thought I looked nice," Ranma muttered.

"What's your problem?" Urd stalked forward predatorily while Skuld laid a supporting hand on Ranma's shoulder.

"You okay Ranma-chan?" Skuld asked gently.

"Fine," she replied, turning a grateful but sad smile on Skuld. "I, well, I guess I just got used to being around people who didn't jump to conclusions all the time and who really just cared that I was happy."

Nodoka looked chagrined and Kasumi smiled broadly, crossing the distance to Ranma and drawing the surprised neo-girl into a hug. "It's good to see you Ranma-chan," Kasumi said.

"Stop flirting with my sister you pervert!" Akane stalked forward, her mallet flashing into being. Ranma cringed, waiting for the hammer-blow…

*CLANG*

…that never came. Ranma looked up cautiously to see Skuld's hammer blocking Akane's mallet. "I don't know what you think you are to attack my friend like that," Skuld said dangerously. "But I won't let you."

"I'm going to punish the pervert!" Akane yelled. "Now get out of my way!"

"Whoa there little girl, first off, Ranma-chan is anything but a pervert. And second, just what do you think gives you the right to attack someone like that?" Urd said as motes of power began to swirl around her.

"He's my fiancé, that makes it my right!" Akane declared, Soun nodding along emphatically in the background.

"You're nothing more than an abusive, delusional little girl," Urd growled out, power building around her to an oppressive level. "My sister has every right to defend *her* fiancée from a hateful, spiteful, abuser like you. And if you think for one moment that I'll let you pick on my friend like that, you've got another thing coming?" World of Elegance burst from Urd's back, eyes hard, mana coalescing in her hands.

"Just who do you think you are to stop me?" Akane turned towards Urd and blanched slightly as the aura surrounding Urd built to nearly painful brightness. Now, Belldandy may have been higher ranked than Urd but that wasn't because of power considerations. While most first ranked deities (and infernals) were more powerful than second class, Urd was something of an exception. Sure, Urd was lower ranked than her sister, but really that just meant that she was more limited in terms of authority. Like her sisters, Urd's Father was Kami-sama. But unlike them, her mother was Hild. Meaning, unless you were the head of a pantheon like Amaterasu or Zeus, Urd's power was pretty much unmatched.

Fortunately for the Tendo party, Urd never got the chance to unleash her frustrations on her unfortunate (yeah right) target. Mara chose that moment to saunter into the temple grounds and glomp onto Ranma-chan.

"Hi Ranma!" she chirped as she ground her body into the smaller redhead's. "Whoa, Urdie, what's going on?"

Urd deflated slightly and smirked. Sure, she could unleash divine judgment on Akane, but she could also sit back and laugh while Mara dealt with her. "Mara, meet the Tendos. This little girl here was about to beat the snot out of Ranma-chan for 'being a pervert' when we both know you've had absolutely no luck on that front with her," Urd said.

Kasumi, meanwhile, had plucked World of Elegance out of the air and was lightly tickling her wings. "Oh my, you're feathers are so soft. Aren't you just the most darling little angel-girl?" she said. This of course defused the situation as everyone stared at her incredulously. The Nekomi contingent looked between Kasumi and Belldandy and silently wondered just how this mortal was able to give off the same peace and serenity as the goddess. Though, they had to sweatdrop a bit at her comments as she teased and played with the angel.

Mara, on the other hand, only spared a passing glance towards Kasumi, though she too would spend hours that night contemplating the issue. She stalked up to Akane and poked a finger into the violent girl's chest. "Just what do you think you were doing little girl? Going to beat up MY fiancée like that?"

"Grr! You can't have the Pervert. He's mine to punish if I want to!" Akane growled.

Soun jumped on the bandwagon, shouting, "That's right, Ranma must marry Akane!"

"Oh really?" Mara asked with a smirk. "I don't think your trifling pact matters, unless you want to claim that your paltry little claim is more important than mine. Or Skuld's, I suppose," the demoness added as an afterthought.

"The Schools must be joined," Soun insisted. "Besides, our pact is the oldest and therefore all subsequent pacts do not have the same backing of honor!"

"Bwahahahaha, first off, where's your contract? No, don't have one. I didn't think so. Secondly, your claim is the third marriage arrangement that Genma made for Ranma here. I wonder though, do you really want to contest my claim. Are you prepared to go up against the authority of Hild-sama?" Mara taunted, but just received blank looks from the mortal contingent from Nerima.

"Um, Mara..." Ranma said, "they wouldn't know who that is."

"Oh, right," Mara sheepishly replied. "Fine then." She pulled her contract out of thin air. "This details that Genma Saotome sold the soul of his firstborn son to Hild-sama, the Demon Queen, to marry to the person of her choice and predates your pathetic claim by 4 years."

"And if we are going by age or authority," Urd jumped in, "Ranma was promised 3 years before that to marry a daughter of Kami-sama according to this contract here."

"K-kami-sama, Demon Queen?" Nodoka blanched. "Genma, what the hell were you thinking?" she asked to the heavens. "Could I see those please?"

"Sure," Mara shrugged before handing the contract over. "Just be glad he stipulated that it was an engagement. If he hadn't, Ranma's soul would be Hild's to do whatever she damn well pleased with."

"Oh Genma, you idiot," Nodoka muttered while the others looked on in horror. She carefully read through both documents before saying, "These look valid. As Ranma's mother, and Head of Clan Saotome, I have to acknowledge them. Soun, if you intend to pursue the Tendo claim, I might have to ask you to take it up with Genma, I have no desire to incur the wrath of either of these entities."

"W-what?!" Nabiki exclaimed, "Surely you can't believe that these women are actually associated with who they say they are auntie. That's ridiculous."

Urd just pointed to Kasumi, who was currently pampering the giggling little angel. "Explain that then."

Mara stepped up and shot a challenging glare at the middle Tendo daughter. "I'd be happy to establish my bona fides, would you like a demonstration?" Repressed mirth, desire and annoyance swirling in her darkening eyes.

Now, unlike her father, or most Nerimites in general, Nabiki was not an idiot. She knew when she was outmatched and she had absolutely no intention of angering these people. Even if they weren't who they claimed to be, they were clearly powerful.

Akane however, had no such restraint and her rage boiled to the surface once more. "I don't care who you claim to be," the young Tendo declared as her aura burst into an angry red miasma around her. "The pervert needs to die, get out of my way!"

Mara just casually backhanded the girl across the lawn and yawned, "Really, little girl, it sounds like you don't even like him. Why do you care?"

"Fine!" Akane shouted as she clutched the side of her face. That blow had really hurt. "Have the pervert! See if I care!"

"How dare you hit my little girl?!" Soun erupted in his demon head once again.

Mara just snickered, trying to scare a demoness first class by manifesting the aura of a low level grunt, please. "She had it coming."

Nabiki chose this moment to intervene. Idiot though he was, Soun was still her father. Nabiki didn't particularly want to see what would happen if he actually angered the being in front of them. She dragged her father and Akane out of sight.

"Aww, and it was just getting fun too," Mara sighed. "Oh well."

Kasumi looked up from where she was still playing with World of Elegance and sighed, "Oh my, I suppose I'd better follow them home. It was good to see you again Ranma." She gave the shorter redhead another hug. "Are you coming Auntie?"

"Actually, if it would be alright, I'd like to spend some time with my, um, my daughter here. Go on ahead," Nodoka replied.

"Okay then, goodbye," Kasumi called out over her shoulder as she left the temple.

* * *

A very thoughtful Nodoka had left the temple after a brief two night stay for the weekend. Urd had dragged her aside the first evening to explain some of what had been going on, especially regarding Ranma's period. Furthermore, Urd had pointed out just how little emotional support the aquatranssexual had ever had and showed her highlights from the training trip using her computer. Nodoka really had no idea just what life under Genma had meant for her son, the neko-ken particularly made her sick. But, she realized that she needed some space to think about things, particularly her own actions and manliness schtick and what it was doing to her child. Her child that a goddess had assured her would be cursed for eternity. She had promised to visit again soon.

For his part, Ranma was just grateful that the situation with the Tendos hadn't exploded entirely. He had quickly turned back male after they had left and spent as much time with Nodoka as he could. Two days had passed since she had left.

"AHHHHH!" a scream echoed through the temple.

"That sounded like Bell," Ranma said as he bolted to his feet. He had been in the middle of a tutoring session with Urd while Skuld worked on building a plasma cannon.

"We'd better see if she's okay," Skuld said worriedly.

Urd just smirked, but allowed the other two to lead her upstairs to Keiichi's room. 'Ohohoho, that sounded like Bell alright.'

Skuld nearly ripped the door off its track as she slid it open. "Big sis, are you o… EEEEP!" she blushed bright red and quickly spun around, allowing the others to peek past her.

"What's wrong?" Ranma's muscles were coiled and he was ready to leap into action should the situation demand it. He got a glimpse of the tableau beyond Skuld, flushed as well and looked away. "S-sorry about that," he mumbled as he drifted off downstairs trying to get the images out of his head.

"Ohohoho, I didn't know you were a screamer little sis. Ohohohoho," Urd cackled madly.

"Urd!" Keiichi yelped out and hastily tried to cover up with a sheet.

Bell's entire body turned crimson, making Urd smirk. "Please, don't tease me sister," she squeaked out.

"Ohoho, it's about damn time sis, good on you. Good job kiddo, sounds like she enjoyed it," Urd shot back at the couple with a mischievous lilt in her voice. "So Bell, was he as good as you thought he'd be? He's certainly well endowed."

"URD, out now!" Keiichi screamed as Bell blushed harder and ducked her head. He finally succeeded in getting a sheet over his and his newfound lover's body.

"Alright, alright, I'm going. No need to get her panties in a twist kid," Urd said, referencing the plain, cotton underwear that were draped haphazardly over a lamp. "I'm just glad you guys finally got down to business," she called over her shoulder. "I knew you needed to get laid sis. Oh, and Keiichi, welcome to the family kiddo. I think Father will probably want to talk to his prospective son-in-law soon." She had noticed the beautiful ring on Bell's finger.

Keiichi just gulped as Urd left the room. "Your… father?" he asked.

"Mmm," Bell just snuggled into Keiichi's chest. "Don't worry about it love, I'm sure he already knows. And I just know that he'll be happy for us," she idly played with the delicate platinum band containing a beautiful teardrop diamond surrounded by tiny sapphires on her left hand.

In his office, Kami-sama smiled. Sure, he had known what was going on, and yes, he did approve the match. In fact, he already had a wonderful wedding gift for the pair. But it wasn't every eon that he got to play the role of protective father and he was looking forward to seeing Keiichi's reaction. The smirk on his face would have even made his ex-wife proud.

Speaking of Hild, her chibi-form had peeked her head in over the windowsill to Keiichi's room and had seen the whole thing. 'Hmm,' she thought, 'there's so much mischief I could work with this, but what would be most amusing? Ooo, I know!' Chibi-Hild popped away.

Meanwhile, Urd had dragged the nearly catatonic Skuld downstairs to the living room where Ranma was studiously pretending nothing had happened by reading the textbook he had been working on. All of a sudden a swirling portal of hellfire appeared above Ranma's head and Mara fell out, clearly having been interrupted from the middle of a bath as the sudsy bathwater followed a moment later.

"Ooof," Ranma grunted as the chair he was in broke as he found himself on flat on the floor with an armful of surprised demoness. Then the water hit, triggering the expected gender shift and flooding half the room. Mara just looked around the room from her new perch on Ranma's chest, too stunned to even take advantage of the situation.

"Oh, hi Mara, glad you could join us," Urd said.

"What the hell am I doing here?" the demoness asked, shocked. This, she really hadn't been expecting. Skuld just shook her head, this sort of thing had happened all too often since she moved into the temple. Well, not precisely nude demonesses falling out of the ceiling, but still, the goddess was understandably a bit jaded after all that had happened recently.

"That portal reeked of Hild, and this is just her sense of humor," Urd commented lightly. "By the way, nice rack." She smirked.

"Uh, wha… oh, Ranma-chan, wash my back for me?" Mara purred huskily after realizing her current position on the downed redhead.

"Kno-knock it off Mara," Ranma stuttered out before rolling out from under Mara.

"Aww, where's the fun in that?" Mara sulked.

"Can someone get me a towel?" The irate redhead pushed a drenched lock of hair out of her eyes.

"Actually, I could use one too since someone doesn't want to play," Mara said before turning to pout suggestively at Ranma. Skuld took the opportunity to escape from yet another awkward situation to get some towels from the bathroom.

A moment later Skuld returned and Ranma gave her a grateful smile after taking one of the towels. "Thanks a lot," she chirped.

"Not a problem," Skuld smiled back before throwing the other towel over Mara's head.

"Hey!" Mara complained half-heartedly. After wrapping herself up she turned to Urd and asked, "So, any idea why mommy dearest decided to port me here?"

"She could have at least left the bathwater behind," Ranma grumbled causing Mara to snicker.

Urd barely managed to avoid laughing at Ranma's last comment. She turned back to Mara and said, "Oh, I'm guessing she saw what happened upstairs."

"And?" Mara raised an immaculately trimmed eyebrow.

"Oh, nothing special. Bell and Keiichi just did the nasty and he asked her to marry him," Urd said nonchalantly.

"Oh, that's not a b- wait WHAT?" Mara yelled.

"Bwahahahaha, the look on your face," Urd cackled. Ranma herself managed a weak smile at their antics.

"Oh, phew," Mara deflated. "For a second I thought you were serious there about Bell and the twerp."

"Ohohohoho, I was," Urd said with a mischievous look on her face.

"What?! They actually did it and the twerp proposed?!" Mara was aghast. "Never thought he'd grow the balls… damn, I just lost three bets."

"Ohohohoho, it just took a while under my influence, ohohohoho," Urd cackled. Skuld just bonked her on the head. "Ow."

"Whatever," Skuld picked up another of her devices and started to fiddle with it.

"Anyway, I think we should throw Bell a huge bachelorette party," Urd said, her eyes gleaming.

"Leave me out of this. I may turn into a girl but there's no way I'm getting involved in that," Ranma said.

"Me either," Skuld absently replied as she continued her tinkering.

"Aww, c'mon, you think it's a good idea, right Mara?" Urd pouted.

Mara just shrugged, "Sure, whatever. Now that I don't have to break them up anymore I might as well enjoy myself." The couple actually sealing the deal was a relief in her book; she could go back to more… chaotic pursuits. Sure, messing around with someone as goodly as Belldandy was fun, but even she got bored. Besides, she hadn't caused any real bedlam recently. Well, after the matter of the bet was dealt with, she still had to break Skuld and Ranma up before Keiichi's graduation.

"Skuuuld," Urd whined, "Don't you wanna help celebrate something really special for your big sis. Bell's engaged, we need to celebrate!" She looked at her sister with wide shining eyes and pouted lips.

"Fine, whatever. I'll do it for Bell's sake but I think you just want to get drunk," Skuld responded.

"Would I ever do something like that?" Urd innocently asked.

"Yes, you would you old mummy," Skuld snorted.

"True," Urd shrugged. "Oh Ranma-chaaan," she sung out.

"No, not gonna do it. 'Sides, I can't be at a bachelorette party, I'm not a girl," Ranma put her hands on her hips and 'hmmmph'ed' at Urd while tapping her foot in an annoyed manner, a really feminine annoyed manner.

"Ohohoho," Urd cackled. "Sure looks like you've got the whole girl thing down kiddo, c'mon, it'll be fun."

"No, I don't want to," Ranma turned away, huffing.

"But Ranma, don't you like Belldandy? I'm sure she'd be really happy to have you there," Urd brought out the big guns by sniffling a little. "I, I guess I'll just have to go tell Bell that you don't like her, it'll break her heart. And I know she thinks of you as a little sibling." Mara started coughing into her fist and had to excuse herself from the room. Urd really was a master of the guilt trip.

"R-really?" Ranma said with a slight crack in her voice. The others had noticed that Ranma-chan had been a bit less restrained in her emotions since her period, but they weren't about to mention it to her. Uh-uh, no way; they all valued their lives waaay too much to go there.

"Really little one," Belldandy said from the staircase. She pulled the startled neo-girl into a loose embrace. "And Urd, do you really think I'm so shallow?" Urd began to mouth denials frantically.

Ranma just hugged Bell back, sniffling slightly. Having someone care about her unconditionally like that was really nice. And aside from Kasumi, no one ever seemed to. Genma, well, the less said the better. The other Tendos all had serious problems, the Amazons always had their agenda, Ukyo had pressed their friendship to the breaking point and even his mother had held some conditions over his head. Though, after her recent visit and short stay at the temple, that relationship was definitely looking better.

"I'll, sniffle, I'll be there big sis," Ranma said and her voice cracked even harder. When she pulled back you could see tear tracks on her cheeks but she was smiling brilliantly.

* * *

A week had passed while Urd planned Belldandy's unofficial engagement party. Keiichi had been kicked out for the night to hang out with some of his friends and would be crashing at one of their apartments. It was almost three in the morning and the party was finally winding down. Various deities had dropped in to congratulate Bell over the course of the night. A number of people and deities were passed out in the den including Megumi and Peorth. In fact, the only people still awake were Ranma, Belldandy, Skuld, Urd, and Mara. They were sitting around the table playing one of the greatest traditional party games of all time, Truth or Dare.

"Truth!" Mara declared.

"Alright Mara," Urd slurred out. "Aside from Ranma, are you seeing anyone?"

"Mmhmm! Though Morrigan'll be really upset if I don't find us someone else to join us for a few nights soon," Mara giggled a bit and fell sideways into Ranma-chan. "Why do you think I've been after stud-girl here. S/He'd be perfect!"

"Erk!" Ranma eloquently declared. Bell and Skuld flushed at the implications.

"Ohohoho, that cute little succubus we used to play with?" Urd asked.

"Yep, damn, she's so hot now that she's all grown up. Works down at the D-wing in the diplomatic corps. Mmm, last week she brought this really tasty singer into our bed. That man could use his tongue in ways you wouldn't believe," the demoness shivered in delight.

"Ack, really didn't wanna know, really didn't wanna know," Ranma said.

"And here I thought you were actually interested in Ranma," Urd continued to press the drunk demoness.

"Naw, stud-girl, boy is cute and all, but I'm not really looking for anything permanent. 'Sides, I can't let you win our little bet Urdie!" The demoness declared before passing out and snoring on the table.

"Win what bet?" Skuld asked with a dangerous glint in her eye.

"N-nothing, I have no idea why she said that," Urd backpedaled frantically.

"Oh, really? So if I wake her up what's she going to say?" The pitch of Skuld's voice was rapidly rising.

"Fine, she bet that I couldn't find someone that you'd want to be with by Keiichi's graduation, are you happy?" Urd yelled back. "Oh shit."

"WHAT?!" Skuld shrieked. "So, that's it, huh? My own sister is just playing games with me, just wonderful. So what, you kidnapped Ranma to be my fiancé, is that it? And then you tried to drug us twice? What the hell are you playing at?"

Ranma looked over at Bell for a moment before grabbing Skuld and hauling her outside. Skuld's temper boiled over and she started bawling as she tried to get past the neo-girl to go back into the house.

Ranma grabbed the sobbing goddess in a loose embrace and held her back while Skuld smacked him repeatedly in the chest. "Let me go! I'll kill that old mummy. Damn it, let me go!"

"Shh, it's okay," Ranma made soothing noses in her ear while weathering the onslaught. 'She's pretty strong, guess I should expect that from a goddess,' Ranma winced at a particularly strong punch to the chest.

"Stop. Let me go. Why won't you… she… why did she do this to me?" Skuld grabbed onto Ranma's chest sobbing. Ranma just continued to hold her while stroking her back until she calmed down. "How can you be so calm?" she mumbled. "Urd was just playing with you too, why aren't you upset?"

Ranma got a contemplative look on her face. 'Damn it, I wish I was better at talking. I hope this comes out right.' "Look, Skuld, I know what Urd did was really shitty but I don't think you should stay mad at her," Ranma finally said.

"What, how can you possibly say that Ranma? She was just playing with us, I can't believe her," Skuld fumed.

"Yeah, so she screwed up. I'm not all that pleased to have been kidnapped over a stupid bet but really, this might be the best thing that's ever happened to me. And it's not like you didn't get anything out of it either," Ranma said.

"What? You know I don't really feel that way about you. I'm not ready for that kind of commitment. I've been trying so hard, but I'm just not ready for a relationship like that Ranma," Skuld said.

"Yeah, I kinda figured that out a while ago." He scratched his cheek thoughtfully. "But I think she was honestly trying to do something nice for you. I mean, I know I suck with words and all, but I think Urd was just trying to give you someone to care about like Bell and Keiichi do for each other. I think she did this to try and make you happy."

"I… I didn't think of it that way," Skuld said with a thoughtful frown. "That still doesn't make it right."

"Like I said, Urd screwed up. Big deal. Besides, you may not get a fiancé out of the deal, but I'd like to think you still got a friend. We are friends right?" Ranma asked hopefully.

"Yes, yes, of course," Skuld finally relaxed and loosely hugged Ranma back.

"Good, I'd hate to lose one of the first real friends I've ever had. I think you guys are the first true friends I've had since I was six," Ranma said.

A few minutes later Skuld disengaged from Ranma, still sniffling slightly. "So, what do we do now?" Skuld said.

"Well, we were planning on going to that dance together, right?" Ranma asked.

"Yes, but why does that matter?" Skuld looked confused.

"Well, I figure I take you to Keiichi's graduation dance, after all, I can't stand up my date, can I?" the redhead smirked.

"Sigh, I suppose I could still go with you, even if you are just a big lug," Skuld teased with a little smile before bouncing away from Ranma.

"Hey, who you calling a lug?" Ranma called out before starting to chase Skuld around the temple grounds. She eventually pinned the goddess and started tickling her sides, making her squirm. "Huh, so, who's a lug?"

"Y-hehehe- you're –hahahaha… stop it, haha," Skuld gasped and giggled. "You'renotalugI'mreallyreallysorry heeehehehahaha, pl-hah-ease…uncle."

"Hmm, okay, I guess that's good enough," Ranma smirked as she let Skuld up.

"Thanks, I needed that," Skuld beamed at Ranma. "What does this mean for you, are you still going to stick around here?"

"Well, I'd like to, but I don't think it'd be right. I'll stick around till the end of the semester. Then I guess I'll go back to live with mom, I should really get to know her. Getting out of Nerima was nice, but since I don't really have a reason to live here anymore I should probably head back. Was nice though, having real friends, not getting attacked constantly and not putting up with abusive fiancées for a while," Ranma said, a bit depressed.

"I'm sure you could stick around if you wanted to Ranma," Skuld said as she laid a supportive hand on his shoulder.

"Naw, I'll come back to visit, but I really should finish my last year of high school especially since I'm almost caught up now. And it'd be nice to get to know mom a bit better. Heck, maybe I'll be back for college. I think it'd be a good idea, plus I'll miss you guys," he said.

"That'd be great," Skuld said with a big smile. "Thanks Ranma, I guess… I guess I should go talk to the old hag now, huh?"

"Don't be too hard on her," Ranma said as Skuld started to walk back towards the temple.

"Don't worry, I won't be," Skuld responded. "But I do have to get her back for betting on us." Skuld grinned wickedly, making Ranma very glad that her malice was directed elsewhere. 'Hoo boy, am I glad I'm not Urd right now,' she thought.

Skuld stalked back into the house with a wicked gleam in her eye. "Urrrrrd!" she called out. "Where are you big sis, I want to *discuss* something with you."

'Great, this is probably gonna get really ugly,' Urd thought as she stepped out of the living room. "Skuld, I'm… I'm sorry, I didn't have the right to do that to you. The bet was stupid but I honestly thought you'd be happy if I could hook you up with someone great," she bowed her head and looked up with pleading eyes. "I'm so sorry little sis, can you ever forgive me?"

"Oh, I think there are things we need to talk about first," Skuld said. "Why Ranma?"

Urd decided that it would be best to just be honest about everything to hopefully salvage something out of her relationship to her little sister. "Well, to be honest, I didn't know which team you were playing for. Heck, even Bell didn't know if you really liked guys. I was gonna get you a guy and a girl to choose from, but then I saw Ranma's file. S/he's both, so I figured, either way it'd work out. Both forms are smoking hot and Ranma's immortal. Suppose I need to talk to him about that," Urd trailed off thoughtfully.

"I, hmm, well, I guess that makes sense. I think you made two big mistakes though, three actually," Skuld said. Her eyes were still flashing with repressed anger, but really, the young goddess was trying to keep her cool. No matter what, Urd was still her sister.

"Oh, what?" Urd asked, figuring that anything that kept Skuld calm was a good thing.

"First, you should have just asked me if I even wanted someone. Second, you shouldn't have kidnapped Ranma, you should have tried something else. And third… third, I'm not you," Skuld finished with a little grin.

"Huh? What do you mean little sis?" Urd asked, genuinely confused.

"I'm not you," Skuld said, sitting down and pulling Urd down with her. "I know you think you were doing something to make me happy, and I'm still really, well, really pissed off about it. I don't understand how Ranma does it. She's not mad at you at all, and I think I know why." Skuld smiled mysteriously while thinking 'If big sis was thinking clearly, she'd know that the moment it was acknowledged, both of those contracts became binding and Ranma's obviously, well, obliviously interested.' "But really, Urd, I'm not you. I think you saw Ranma's file and saw some perfect for *you* and you projected it onto me. In a way, that's really sweet of you, but I'll find someone for myself when I'm ready. And I'm really not ready for a real relationship yet. Being 'engaged' to Ranma definitely proved that."

"Wait, what?!" Urd exclaimed. "Where did you get those ideas?"

"I think it's pretty obvious. I'm not bi and if you wanted to know that you could have just asked me. But, you are. And all of a sudden my potential paramour is both male and female. You've also been obviously interested, after all, you've been all over her, especially when you're drunk," Skuld teased.

Urd flushed slightly. She said, "And here I thought you were going to yell at me, not embarrass me."

"Oh, don't get me wrong Urd, I'm very upset with you still. It's going to take a long time before I can fully trust you again. But, you're still my sister and I'd like to see you happy too. Did you know that Ranma is planning to go home after he takes me to the graduation dance?" Skuld said.

Urd blanched, "Oh no, really?"

"Well, she doesn't think there's a reason for her to stay now that our engagement is done. Whether or not that changes…" Skuld trailed off.

"Father, I've… I've got to think about that," Urd said. "So, are we okay then little sister? Is there something I can do to prove that I'm really sorry?"

"Well, what exactly were the terms of this bet?" Skuld asked.

"Mara bet me that I couldn't find you someone to fall in love with before Keiichi's graduation. The loser had to go to the ceremony naked and jump on stage when it was Keiichi's turn to get his diploma," Urd mumbled.

"Haha, really? That was it?" Skuld laughed. She looked at Urd slyly and said, "Well, there is one thing you can do…"

* * *

Belldandy smiled proudly at her fiancé as he started to walk across the stage. Keiichi had done it. In spite of the constant insanity that had surrounded him, Keiichi had actually graduated and with honors too.

Skuld was smirking, any second now and…

Urd ran on stage yelling "HOLD!" stunning most of the onlookers and causing Keiichi to sweatdrop. Belldandy just muttered "oh sister" while Ranma blushed a deep crimson but continued to stare. Urd was bare to the world in all her bronzed glory and you could tell that platinum white was definitely her natural hair color.

Urd took center stage and started to sing "I'm a little teapot" with the accompanying dance. Mara fell out of her seat laughing. Even Belldandy had to stifle a few giggles. Ranma was still blushing heavily, but if you watched closely, his eyes were glued to Urd.

Skuld, on the other hand, had pulled out a very high-tech looking video camera. A camera which was actually piping a live feed to a tavern in Asgard which Hild had secretly tapped; mothers love embarrassing home videos after all. Revenge was sweet, now if only she could figure out how to get back at Mara.

That evening was the night of the graduation dance. Normally a university, especially a Japanese university, wouldn't bother but the dean thought that it would be a nice reward for the graduating seniors. Plus, it was a good excuse for the faculty to cut loose for a night.

Keiichi and Belldandy spent the night spinning away in each others' arms, completely oblivious to the world around them. They were great together, and a darling couple, but they were sappy enough to make Mara want to puke. Speaking of Mara, she and Urd decided to attend the dance as well. Mara figured it would be fun and it gave her an excuse to hit on random mortals, not that she really needed one. Urd, on the other hand, had a mission and she was dressed to kill. Urd wore a curve hugging, single strap black dress what fell to mid thigh with a slit on the left side. And after her performance that morning, she was getting endless lustful stares from the men and a few discreet looks from a couple of the women. Normally, this attention wouldn't bother her, but her nerves were already frayed and the attention wasn't helping.

Skuld and Ranma chose that moment to walk in to the dance. Skuld was wearing a beautiful, if somewhat conservative off the shoulder evening gown that fell all the way to the floor. Fortunately, there was enough material in the skirting to allow her an almost normal range of motion. Dashing was the only word that seemed to fit Ranma, who was dressed in a classic tuxedo that accentuated his defined, but not overly bulky musculature. The pair was getting their share of attention as Ranma led Skuld through a few dances, and boy, could he dance. Ranma had, after all, dominated the Martial Arts Ballroom Dancing competition and to call him graceful was a gross understatement. More than a few women were watching jealously as the couple danced.

A few minutes later, the dancing paused so dinner could be served. All of the goddesses, Mara and Ranma were seated at the same table. Dinner was fine, if somewhat bland. But, considering the number of graduates and their dates, that was to be expected. After dinner and a few more dances, Skuld excused herself to go to the restroom, leaving Ranma and Urd alone together at the table.

"Might I have the next dance?" Urd asked as the next slow song started playing.

"Of course." Ranma helped Urd out of her chair and led her over to the dance floor. He blushed slightly as he felt her hips through the thin material of her dress as they slowly moved around the other dancing couples.

Urd shot a smile at Belldandy as the passed, though her younger sister missed it entirely. She steeled herself before looking up into Ranma's eyes. "So Ranma, what are your plans now?" Urd asked.

"Well, I thought that since the whole engagement thing here fell through that I'd spend some time with mom. Then maybe when I'm done with high school I'll wind up back here for college," Ranma said. "It's been really nice to get out of Nerima though." Ranma sighed wistfully.

"And what about all your suitors? You know if you go back, they'll probably try twice as hard," Urd said.

"Yeah, I'm really not looking forward to that, but I don't know what to do," Ranma said as his face fell with a resigned look.

Urd took a deep breath and said, "You know, I might have a way around that."

Ranma looked up hopefully. "Really, what?!"

"Well, technically, the contract with Father is to marry one of his daughters and neither Skuld or Bell is interested. And, the contract with… mother… is to marry someone of her choice…" Urd trailed off.

"Urd, are you trying to say that you're interested?" Ranma was shocked, though he supposed he shouldn't be. Urd did mention that she would have gone after him if he wasn't with Skuld, and well, he wasn't with Skuld. He had to admit that the goddess in his arms was beautiful and he really did enjoy her company.

"Um, I, well," Urd blushed profusely while staring at her toes.

"Urd?" Ranma asked, lifting her chin to look into her eyes.

Urd closed her eyes, leaned forward and pressed a light kiss on Ranma's lips. Ranma's eyes fluttered closed as well as he tentatively returned the kiss. A short eternity later, they broke for air and Urd pressed herself closer to Ranma's chest. "Yes."

-Fin (at least for now)-

* * *

Afterword: Well, this chapter is what I was hoping to get done on this story. I *may* eventually pick it up and see where Ranma and Urd's relationship goes, but for now I'm done. It leaves room for a sequel if I ever get the desire to write it, but I think it ended at a good point. I wanted to do something interesting with this fic, and trying to set it to a late 90s/early 2000s high school romance plot was one of those things. That's the main reason why there was such a glut of emotional development and character maturation in this chapter. I realize that it is in no way realistic or within character for someone like Ranma to develop so quickly, but that's kind of a theme in those sorts of movies. The protagonist usually goes through some funny situations, but at the end, they grow up a ton really fast. I hope that was somewhat captured. Writing the ending was really hard though. I wanted to end it with the classic kiss on the dance floor, but it feels a bit… rushed, even though I tried to set up attraction between Ranma and Urd throughout this whole chapter. In my defense, this is the first story I've actually tried to finish and hopefully that'll get better as time goes on.

I wasn't sure about the final pairing, but after some discussion, I had to admit that Skuld is probably too young/immature to wind up in a lasting relationship *and* she and Ranma just don't have much in common. I also happen to really like Urd as a character and think that she would be good for Ranma. I also think that he could easily fall for her and that she would be incredibly open about sexuality which would make his curse mostly a non-issue. I also didn't want to imply that Urd/Ranma was definitive or that they'd work together. I might eventually try to write that, but for now, I'll leave that to your imagination. Plus, those movies tend to have a romantic twist in there somewhere that leads to an all around happy conclusion.

At any rate, I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it. Please let me know what you think and where you think I need to improve. This is, in essence, my first completed story. As I have no intention to stop writing, I'd really like to know what my weaknesses and strengths are according to other people's perceptions. For example, I'm sure I could have handled some of the characters better and any advice in that regard would be most welcome. At any rate, I don't think that it came out too poorly, but you might have different opinions. Please let me know what you think of the (currently) final state of this piece. I consider constructive criticism to be extremely valuable. The one thing that I really wanted to include but couldn't was a Benny Hill style chase scene, but I just couldn't seem to find the right place for it.

Hopefully, now that this is done, I can turn my attention back to Death Reborn Evolution and actually get something written for it. I personally think that story is a bit better than this one, but it also isn't trying to do something quite as crazy. I may also start another story up in the next month or so.

And, a final bit of trivia: Zach Siler is the name of the male protagonist in the film She's All That and Hacky-sack features prominently in the movie. I felt like I had to make a direct reference to that film somehow. Well, and the wager on the Bet is pretty much directly from the movie.


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